


Sentire

by roquentine



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: AU from The Doctor Dances, F/M, Jack's just along for the ride, Multi, Nine/Rose True Love, but he's fine with it really, debatable dubcon in part six
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-10
Updated: 2016-06-10
Packaged: 2018-07-14 04:09:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 22,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7152947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roquentine/pseuds/roquentine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>sentire: (L.) experience, feel, perceive, see, think, realize, understand.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part One

**Author's Note:**

> Originally published on Livejournal in 2008.

It all started right after they picked up Jack. Jack, who would just as soon have sex with someone as shake hands by way of an introduction. Bisexual, pansexual, omnisexual Jack showed up, and suddenly the air in the TARDIS seemed to have a life of its own, thrumming in and through and around Rose, darting palpably under her skin.

_Everybody lives!_

Indeed.

The first night Jack came aboard, Rose happily wandered about with him until they found a room he liked; not surprisingly, it was the one with the largest bed and, to Jack's mischievous-eyed delight, mirrors on the ceiling. The smooth, gliding sounds of Glenn Miller were still within earshot as he pulled her into one more dance and, with a gleam in his eye that nearly blinded her, wondered if she might like to give him a "proper welcome."

She demurred with an abundance of obviously false modesty, but leaned up to plant a quick, impulsive kiss, just outside the corner of his mouth.

"Friends, though, yeah?" she asked, grinning.

"Absolutely," he agreed heartily, but that gleam told her it was only a matter of time.

Rose held his gaze as long as she could stand it, then laughed outright, shaking her head as she turned and walked out of the room. She navigated the hallways back to her own room, humming the tune of a song whose name she couldn't quite remember, thinking that it had been quite a good night for her and the Doctor, all things considered. He saved the world as per usual, without any casualties, and they had picked up a new traveling companion who flirted with her shamelessly, which was quite a bonus. The Doctor danced, bless him, all ungainly and out of rhythm, but doing his best to prove to her that he wasn't completely unaware of what was going on. She had forgotten how nice it was to feel wanted, even if it was all in fun. Or in Jack's case, even if it wasn't, as she had no doubt that if she went back right now and knocked on his door, he'd have her naked and panting inside of five minutes.

Rose let herself imagine that scenario for longer than she'd intended, finally shaking her head to clear it even as she felt the faint blush rising in her cheeks. She laughed out loud and blamed it on the ineffable buzz she was still feeling.

She passed the Doctor's study and peered in to see if he was still up. She found him sunk into an armchair, his long legs crossed at the ankle on the ottoman in front of him, a huge, ancient book open upright on his lap. He held the top of it with one hand, balancing the bottom edge across his thighs.

She rapped lightly on the door frame to get his attention. "Just wanted to say good night." The giant book blocked his head entirely from her view, so she moved into the room until she could see him. "And, you know, you did good tonight."

The Doctor didn't look up. "Where's _Captain_ Jack?" he asked, thinly veiled disdain coloring the use of Jack's rank.

Rose decided to pretend she didn't notice his tone. "We found him a room," she said brightly. "He's all settled in."

"Yeah? And just how settled in did you make him, there, Rose?" He still didn't move his head, but he cut his eyes to meet hers, erasing any benefit of doubt she was willing to give that he was joking.

And that was it.

She stepped over to him, her demeanor calm and determined. His eyes followed in mildly annoyed but curious silence as she carefully slid the book from his grasp, folded it closed, held it out flat at arm's length, and let it drop to the floor. Startled, he pulled his legs from the ottoman just as she settled one knee into the chair next to his thigh and swung herself over his knees and onto his lap. She braced her hands on the arms of the chair and looked down at him. He smirked at her, as though she must be kidding; she watched his eyes darken and the smirk fade as he realized she wasn't.

"I'm here, Doctor. I'm right here, and I'm done. Tell me exactly why it is you care what I do with Jack, or Adam or Mickey or _whoever_. Otherwise, shut up about it. Because this, what you're doing, how you're acting, it's not fair to me."

Rose took a deep breath. She hadn't planned any of this, and now she just focused on keeping her eyes from welling up, tamping down the reaction she knew would come if he didn't take her seriously. If she cried, he'd have a way out, and she wasn't about to allow that. "I'm calling your bluff, Doctor. I'm _here_. I'm right in front of you, and now you have to decide."

They stared at each other for a long moment. Rose saw something flicker in his eyes, though she wasn't able to pinpoint its cause, and it was over in a split second. She held his gaze another few moments, but his eyes stayed still, staring back at her, betraying nothing more, and she gave up. "Fine," she muttered in defeat as she began to move off of him.

"Dammit, Rose..." The Doctor's hands shot up to her head and roughly pulled her mouth to his.

* * * * * * *

It wasn't slow motion, exactly. Rather, everything was happening on a delay. Like a pitch black night lit up by a bolt of lightning, with the details coming into focus a split second after the burst of light has faded.

By the time she felt his hands in her hair, her tongue was in his mouth. By the time she registered the smoky, slightly sweet taste of him, he was carrying her down the hall, her legs hooked around his waist. By the time she pondered the strength necessary to lift her from a sitting position, he was kicking the door to his room closed behind them.

In one smooth motion, he deposited her on his bed and stretched out over her. His mouth had never left hers.

She fully expected that at any moment he would pull up from her, look down with kind or concerned or hesitant eyes, and say something like "Are you sure you want to do this?" or "You don't know what you're getting into" or any one of a hundred warnings, admonitions, means of escape.

But he didn't. He didn't stop, not for one minute.

She relished the feeling of his mouth on her skin, of his body moving over hers, full of an unfamiliar electricity, covering her, filling her. His technique was flawless; in the part of her mind still capable of rational thought, she wasn't exactly surprised that he had learned a few tricks in his centuries. He brought her up, then let her drift back, over and over until she begged him to let her go, and he did, and when he did she saw stars, planets, galaxies, and she heard him in her ear, in her head:

_Mine._

* * * * * * *


	2. Part Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally published on Livejournal in 2008.

_Mine._  
  
The Doctor, his head buried in Rose's neck, winced. Not from physical exertion, but from the word he had allowed to escape. He shouldn't be thinking it, let alone uttering it.  
  
Maybe he didn't actually say it out loud. Maybe she hadn't heard him.  
  
It was ridiculous. She wasn't his, could never be _his_ , for as many reasons as there were stars. She was human. He was not. She would leave him, someday, by choice or by circumstance. There was no room for _mine_. None. It was a selfish indulgence.  
  
He kissed her then, to move out of that moment, and she smiled at him, and folded herself comfortably into his body, as though she had known all along what a perfect fit it would be.  
  
He looked at her, and breathed with her, and wondered. He'd done this before, of course he had, and with humans, even. But he had never said that word before, not ever. It didn't make sense.  
  
When he was certain she was soundly asleep, he slipped away from her body, out of the bed, and out the door.  
  
*  *  *  *  *  *  *  
  
Their days were spent as they always were, new planets, new amusements, and the occasional mad escape or saving of a world. And there was a new companion, another human, one who passed the test Adam had failed so spectacularly. Despite his best efforts to the contrary, the Doctor quickly developed an affection for Jack, though he would always take care to cover it with disdain and irritation. He could see a change in Rose, too, in the presence of someone who complemented her playful side. It was something he himself found difficult to engage in this incarnation, a quirk of personality, even though nothing made him happier than watching her laugh.  
  
Well, almost nothing. As it turned out, watching her do a few other things made him happy, too, and their nights were now spent more or less together. Although it was still nearly impossible for him to stay in bed with her the whole night -- his body simply didn't work that way -- he always made an effort to join her again just as she was awakening. She seemed to understand that he was doing the best he could, and never complained, or even mentioned it.  
  
On an otherwise unremarkable night about three weeks later, the three of them were seated around the table in the kitchen, where they had been since their evening meal two hours before. Jack had fixed some after-dinner drinks, and then some after-dinner-drink drinks, while he and the Doctor played "I've Fought Bigger Monsters Than You," trading stories of their past adventures undoubtedly embellished for Rose's benefit, and to her utter delight. After a particularly well-told tale, a lengthy bout of laughter from all three of them, and a comfortable silence, Jack spoke.  
  
"By the way... I want in."  
  
Rose thoughtfully chewed the straw of her third hyper-daiquiri and smiled at Jack, giggling a bit even though she didn't understand what he meant. "In what?"  
  
He fixed her in his gaze. "In, well... you," he said calmly. He tilted his head in the Doctor's direction. "In him. Whatever. All I'm saying is that I know what's been going on around here, and I thought I'd let you know that I want in."  
  
Rose's eyes grew wide. The Doctor looked... not at all surprised.  
  
Jack sat back in his chair. "Look, it's entirely up to you. There's no pressure, and I certainly don't want to get in the way of anything. It's just something I think -- no, I _know_ \-- would be quite enjoyable for everyone involved." Jack smiled, a bit wickedly in Rose's rum-fogged opinion, and stood up. The same gleam in his eye that had blinded her his first night on board was back with a vengeance. "Anyway, it's out there. I won't bring it up again, so if you decide you're not interested, there's no need to mention it. If you _do_ decide you're interested..." The gleam shone brighter than ever. "You know where to find me." And with that, he cocked his eyebrows, smiled the wicked smile again, and left the kitchen.  
  
Rose's eyes were still wide as she watched Jack leave, and she was fairly certain she was blushing, although it could have been the rum, but it wasn't. She was suddenly finding it quite difficult to look at the Doctor. As soon as she realized what Jack was suggesting, the buzz she'd been feeling under her skin since Jack came onboard became so intense, she actually thought the Doctor might be able to see it, like an aura surrounding her body.  
  
"Well," she started, her eyes darting everywhere but in the Doctor's direction, "that was... interesting."  
  
The Doctor gave a half-sigh, half-chuckle, and drained his glass. "Yeah. I'm surprised it took him this long. A whole three weeks. Must be a record."  
  
Rose finally looked over at him, put at ease by his casual reaction. "Should we... you know... talk about it?" She tried, unsuccessfully, to focus her eyes and look serious.  
  
"Probably, but not right now." The Doctor smiled at her kindly. "Given your current state of inebriation, I'm not sure I'd trust your judgment at the moment."  
  
"What about _your_ judgment?" She wobbled a bit as they stood up, clutching at the Doctor's arm for balance as they made their way toward his bedroom. "I mean, if _you_ don't think it's a good idea, then we don't ever have to talk about it at all, you know?"  
  
"I suppose. But we'll talk about it, and we'll talk about why we're going to talk about it, all when you're a little less worse for Jack's bartending skills, all right?"  
  
"All _right_ ," she said playfully, spinning around in front of him and looking up to smile at him while walking backwards, which turned out not to be a good idea. She stumbled after only a few steps before the Doctor leaned over, slid an arm around under her knees, and lifted her.  
  
"There," he said, his voice low in her ear as he hitched her up to balance against his torso. "Better, yeah?"  
  
"Yeah." She grinned, then grabbed his neck and leaned in. "Mmm, much better," she said, more or less into his mouth.  
  
*  *  *  *  *  *  *  
  
The next night in the library, Rose sat curled on the sofa watching the Doctor high atop the rolling ladder, organizing his books. She knew he probably had the technology to put every word ever printed on a computer the size of her thumbnail, and it made her happy that he chose to maintain an actual paper library. She found that she liked watching him work; she liked watching him do just about anything.  
  
It seemed like as good a time as any. She took a deep breath. "Doctor?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"You said that we needed to talk about why we needed to talk about it. What did you mean?"  
  
"Oh. Right. Well, don't take this the wrong way, but..." The Doctor stopped. "I can't figure out how to say it without sounding..." He paused again.  
  
Rose stared at his back. He was stammering? He never stammered. "What? Out with it."  
  
He busied himself with his books, a study in deliberate nonchalance. "Well, it's not that big a deal to me."  
  
"What's not?"  
  
"Jack. You and Jack..." He shrugged. "Us and Jack." He turned around to look down at her as a small sigh escaped him. "Rose, honestly, I try not to trot out the old 'I've been around a lot longer than you have' line very often..."  
  
Rose rolled her eyes. "Yeah? You need to try harder."  
  
The Doctor shook his head and turned back to the shelves. "In this case, it actually does make a difference. Where I come from, and where Jack comes from, for that matter, three people in one bed doesn't have quite the same shock factor as it does in the society you come from. It's just not all that unusual."  
  
Rose sat up, fascinated. "Really?"  
  
"Well, the biological standard across most species still tends to favor a pair, in terms of procreation and care of the young." The Doctor made his way down the ladder. "But for what Jack's talking about, for purely hedonistic purposes, most times and most planets don't have any taboos about threes, or fours, or elevens, if that's what strikes a fancy."  
  
"Really," Rose said again, falling back against the arm of the sofa, trying to wrap her mind around what he was saying. She was a bit confused, a bit overwhelmed, but mostly... mostly... very, very intrigued.  
  
The Doctor continued as he moved more books from one spot to another around the room. "These things, they ebb and flow in most cultures, but most also reach a point where they're left behind permanently. We haven't visited ancient Rome on Earth yet, but if we did, you wouldn't believe it. Bacchanals and orgies were as commonplace as -- what do you call them? Rave parties, is that it?" Rose nodded, smiling. "And when all the men were away at war... well, let's just say they still managed to be unfaithful to their wives, even when there were no women around for miles. By Jack's time, all your taboos have been gone for centuries."  
  
Rose pondered that for a moment, then asked a question she knew he wouldn't answer. "What about for you, for your people?"  
  
"It was never really an issue," the Doctor answered quietly. He didn't look up as he approached her; as she suspected, it would be useless to pursue it. He settled in on the other end of the couch, facing her. "So what I'm saying is, this is really up to you. What you want, what you're comfortable with. If you want to try it, we'll try it, and if you don't, we won't."  
  
Her eyebrows knit together, thoughtful. He leaned toward her, his voice quiet and comforting. "Rose, look. You're young, and you're human, and you're curious, and if you want to see how this works with Jack... I don't think there's anything wrong with that. It won't change anything with me. I don't want you to feel like I'm betraying you by telling you it's okay, and don't feel like you're betraying me if you decide you want to. That's not what this is about."  
  
"But you'd be there, right? You'd be part of it?"  
  
"If that's what you want, then yes, I would."  
  
"Is it what _you_ want?"  
  
"That's what I'm trying to tell you, Rose, it doesn't matter. I want this for you, if you want it. If you don't, I don't."  
  
Rose sensed he was dodging the question, just around the edges. She supposed he was trying to avoid having to tell her that he'd done this before, with people who were not her and Jack, and she'd rather not hear about that anyway. "I have to think about it."  
  
The Doctor sat back and nodded. "Yes, you do."  
  
Rose crawled over to settle on top of him. "But not right now."  
  
*  *  *  *  *  *  *  
  
He did everything he was supposed to do when he was with her. He knew exactly how to touch her, how to move in her, how much pressure to put where and for how long, how to bring her to the edge of ecstasy and hold her there, and how to push her over. It wasn't awkward or unfamiliar. It was a combination of experience and instinct, and something else, something that was only about Rose.  
  
That was the part that scared him.  
  
It was like a drug, the way she responded to what he did to her. Watching her in the throes of her passion fulfilled him far more than anything he felt physically, a fact he hoped he hid well enough. Not that what she did for him wasn't pleasurable, but it wasn't what drove him over his own brink.  
  
He didn't want to have to pretend. But he had no choice. He'd never be able to explain what she couldn't do for him. All he could do was watch, and take what he could get.  
  
*  *  *  *  *  *  *  
  
They had been lying together quietly for a long time, side by side on their backs. She took his left hand in her right and pulled it up, their arms bending at the elbow. They watched in silence as each hand explored the other, his thumb rubbing pressure into her palm, her fingertips lightly skating over his wrist, everything interlocking, clasping, releasing, over and over again.  
  
Rose took a deep breath. "He's not you."  
  
"I know."  
  
"He wants you, too."  
  
"I know."  
  
"Do you want him?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"I sort of do, too."  
  
"I know."  
  
"Will you be jealous?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Because he's not you."  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Okay, then."  
  
*  *  *  *  *  *  *  
  
"Okay."  
  
Rose was leaning against the doorway to the kitchen, the hint of a grin lighting her face.  
  
"Okay, what?" Jack was in the middle of tea, and didn't look up.  
  
" _Okay_ ," Rose said again, using her voice to inflect the word with as much meaning as possible, willing him to look at her.  
  
Jack froze, and slowly raised his head. A bit of wickedness crept into his gaze.  
  
"Really?"  
  
Rose's grin broadened into a wide, mirthful smile. She suggestively looked him up and down, and when her eyes reached his face again, they were on fire. "Get dressed," she said. "We're going dancing."


	3. Part Three

They moved together slowly to the thumping music, hyper-aware of every motion, every point of contact, every source of heat and pressure. Completely _un_ aware of those sharing the floor with them, though most of the other dancers were similarly engaged. Such was the nature of dance clubs in the 27th century.  
  
Jack's hands moved up and over Rose's spine, skimming over the skin laid bare by her sheer, low-backed blouse. His head bowed over hers as they swayed back and forth; he tried to catch her mouth with his, but she coyly denied him. Every time his lips got close, she'd lower her chin, turn her body, make some motion that prevented him from fully kissing her. When she'd finally turn back, he'd find her eyes sparking and her mouth quirked up at one corner.  
  
She was playing with him, and he tried to outmaneuver her. He'd move quickly, but she was quicker. If his hand went to her jaw to hold her head in place, she'd grasp his wrist and pull it down, sliding it over her collarbone to cover her breast, and he'd forget what he'd been trying to do.  
  
Until he'd had enough. Without warning, Jack gripped her waist and propelled her backwards, into a padded column alongside the dance floor. He seized the opportunity present in her moment of confusion to finally capture her unguarded mouth. His head swam as he tasted her for the first time, sweet and hot and so full of life. He wrapped his hand around the back of her neck, angling her head so he could delve deeper into her, for what felt like hours. He pulled back only when he started noticing the actual lack of oxygen.  
  
He opened his eyes as he breathed heavily, feeling an admittedly smug sense of satisfaction at the flush in her cheeks, the glaze in her eyes, the hitch in her breath, all things he had done to her. "Do you have any idea how long I've wanted to do that?"  
  
Rose let a short laugh escape even as she gasped for air. "Since, maybe, the second I landed in your arms?"  
  
Jack pressed his forehead into hers and nodded.  
  
"The same for me..." She barely had time to get the words out before his mouth was on hers again. Now his hips thrust forward, matching the movement of his tongue, the evidence of his attraction obvious. She moaned into his mouth and tried to straddle his thigh, desperate for friction.  
  
As Jack moved his lips down her throat, Rose lifted her eyes over his shoulder and, almost without thinking, sought the Doctor. She found him leaning against another nearby column, watching them intently through a throng of bodies writhing on the dance floor. The look in his eyes was inscrutable as always, but she lifted her arm from Jack's back and held it out. She watched him move toward them, slowly dodging the other dancers with particular grace.   
  
Moments later, the Doctor's hand caught her wrist, lowering her arm as he slowly stroked it, his fingertips brushing lightly along the inside of her elbow to her upper arm, then back down again. She closed her eyes again at the sensation when the Doctor, having returned to her wrist, brought it sharply to the column, over her head. The sudden movement caused her eyes to fly open and lock with his. The Doctor's other hand gripped Jack's waist, and he pressed the length of his body against him, leaning over Jack's right shoulder to capture Rose's mouth. Jack's eyes fell closed as he leaned his head to the left, savoring the feeling of a long, hard body against his back and the soft, sweet one against his front, both of them moving into him in all the right places.  
  
Soon, far too soon, he had to put a stop to it. "Yeah, okay," Jack said finally, his voice sounding odd and strangled. "I, for one, need to get out of here before I become very, very grateful that I'm wearing dark trousers." With a deep breath he slid to the side, a defeated groan escaping his throat as he felt every cell in his body protest the loss of contact. He looked at each of his companions with dark eyes and a passionate smile as he reached a hand to each of them. "Shall we?"  
  
*  *  *  *  *  *  *

The walk back to the TARDIS was quick and quiet, the Doctor leading the way with Rose and Jack following, side by side, afraid to touch, afraid to speak, afraid to so much as _look_ at each other for fear they'd give in to the urge to fuck each other senseless, right there in the middle of a dark street in 2655 London. So they walked, purposefully, stridently, struggling to breathe evenly, their eyes fixed to the back of the Doctor's black jacket.  
  
They stood behind the Doctor with eager impatience as he unlocked the door and pushed it open, standing aside to let his companions enter first. Rose hadn't taken three steps before Jack's hand was on her elbow, spinning her back into his arms to cover her mouth with his. Rose moaned at the contact and brought her hands up to fist in his hair as she leaned against him, pressing him into the railing.  
  
The Doctor pulled the door closed and stood behind them for a moment, then gently cleared his throat. "You two. Can we at least move this out of the console room?" He grinned as he moved past them, a spark in his eyes. "Follow me."  
  
Jack and Rose broke apart reluctantly, straightening their clothing like teenagers as the Doctor led them down the hall to a room neither one had seen before. It was a huge bedroom suite, larger than any of their individual bedrooms. There was a bed, of course, a big, incredibly inviting bed, along one wall. Several armchairs and a chaise lounge also furnished the room, and there was a wet bar complete with refrigerator in one corner. Along the wall opposite the bed were floor to ceiling windows, which currently showed a starry night sky. Everything about the room was warm and comfortable and convenient, such that they could, conceivably, stay in it for days. It was to be _their_ room, theirs, collectively.  
  
Rose looked around the room with wide eyes. She turned a full circle, taking in every detail, and ended up looking back toward the room's entrance, where she saw Jack, leaning against the doorway, watching her intently. He seemed to be waiting for something.  
  
She turned to the Doctor, suddenly uncertain. Conversation about what they were about to do was one thing, but now that the moment was here, she found she needed reassurance. She would not indulge her sexual curiosity on a whim, at the risk of damaging their relationship, damaging _him_. Her arms reached for his waist as she stepped into him, leaning her mouth up to his, kissing him slowly, thoroughly, and questioningly.  
  
The Doctor gently ended Rose's kiss and pulled away, reaching up to frame her face in his hands. "Rose," he whispered, "there is nothing to worry about. I'd tell you if I didn't want to do this, or if I didn't want you to do this." He kissed her again now, trying to reassure her with his mouth, then pressed his forehead to hers and whispered, "I'd tell you. I promise."  
  
He grinned and let go of her, moving his hands to his own jacket and beginning to pull it off. He jerked his head behind him, in the direction of Jack, still in the doorway. "Now get him in here, eh?"  
  
Rose smiled as the Doctor moved past her, and she looked up at Jack. He regarded her kindly, but seriously, as he spoke. "I want you to be sure, Rose. You need to be absolutely sure."     
  
"I know," Rose said, nodding. She reached for his hand. "I am."  
  
She held his gaze with fiery eyes as she pulled him into the room.


	4. Interlude

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this isn't terribly confusing, but here's what's going on. (1) I am utterly incapable of writing brief smut. This part is long. Like, really long. BUT: (2) I didn't want to just skip over the first time all three of them are together together. BUT: (3) The length is just way out of proportion to the contribution it actually makes to the plot. I feel like it overwhelms the flow of the story I'm trying to tell. Therefore, I'm calling it an interlude. A nice, long, smutty interlude. :)

Given that this whole thing was Jack's idea, Rose was surprised to find herself, at the moment, the center of attention.

She had pulled Jack into the room, closer to the bed, and they kissed, slowly and thoroughly, not at all like the hungry teasing that had taken place in the club. She gave a brief moan of surprise into Jack's mouth when she felt the Doctor come up behind her, sweep her hair from her shoulder, and plant cool kisses on her neck, brushing his teeth against her skin, tasting her. She let her head fall back, unconsciously giving the Doctor better access, and Jack took the opportunity to pull her blouse from her jeans. The Doctor's hands joined his, Rose lifted her arms, and the blouse came up over her head and fell to the floor.

As the Doctor continued to taste the back of her neck, Jack's mouth meandered down her throat to her breast, his tongue working at one nipple until it hardened in his mouth, then doing the same to the other. He eventually fell to his knees and nuzzled soft, light kisses on her belly while the Doctor's lips did magical things to her ear. Rose allowed herself to drift a moment in the whirlwind of sensation, but not so much that she didn't notice when Jack's fingers undid the button of her jeans. Her hands caught his as she uttered a breathy "Hold on," and Jack glanced up again with momentary concern. 

She smiled at his expression and tried to pull him up. "Play fair, yeah? I'm not going to get all naked while you two are still fully clothed."

Nobody had to ask Jack Harkness twice to take his clothes off. He grinned as he rocked back on his heels and stood before her once again, his eyes not leaving hers as he began to unbutton his shirt. Rose held his gaze for a moment, then turned and fused her mouth to the Doctor's, reaching down to the hem of his jumper, pulling it and the black tee underneath up as far as she could until forced to break the kiss. The Doctor pulled the clothing the rest of the way over his head, dropped it to the floor, then reached down himself to finish divesting Rose of her jeans, even as his mouth sought hers once more.

Jack, ridding himself of his clothes in record time even for him, moved toward them until his chest made contact with Rose's bare back. He ran one hand up the Doctor's arm while his other hand moved slowly around Rose's waist and gently pulled her back against him, pressing his arousal to her backside. She involuntarily pushed back against it, a groan escaping her mouth as she broke her kiss with the Doctor and tried to catch her breath, unsure about what should happen next.

She realized the Doctor had sensed her hesitation when she felt his hands on her waist, slowly turning her around to face Jack. Rose kept her eyes above Jack's waist and took a deep breath, raising her hands to his shoulders and then smoothing them down his chest, slowly and purposefully. Her eyes followed her fingers, leaving no inch of his skin unnoticed or untouched, giving herself time to become familiar with his body. She brushed her fingertips lightly over his stomach, feeling the muscles underneath twitch in reaction. She brought her eyes back to his face as she turned her palm against his stomach and moved it slowly down, finally wrapping her hand around his erection.

Jack sucked in a sharp breath. She froze for a moment, looked down at her hand, then turned her head back toward the Doctor.

The Doctor smiled at her. "Go on," he whispered in her ear. "I'll watch you. I want to watch you." The Doctor let his hand drift down her spine and across her backside as he stepped around behind Jack, sliding his arms around Jack's waist to settle his palms against his chest, holding him still.

Rose dropped to her knees. She shifted the position of her hand and stroked the length of Jack's cock quite slowly, again using her hands and eyes to take in as much about him as she could. She gave in to a smile when she realized that, compared to the Doctor's, it was just like Jack himself -- a little bit shorter, a little bit thicker. Just as smooth, though, soft and hard at the same time, so unlike any part of her own body. She rubbed the shaft against her cheek, an oddly tender gesture, and glanced up, unprepared for the rush of heat that hit her when she saw them both looking down at her, hunger and excitement in their eyes. She shifted her gaze from man to Time Lord and back again as she licked her lips and slowly pulled the head of Jack's cock into her mouth.

Jack exhaled, grateful for the support of the strong chest behind him, and his eyes fell closed for a moment before he remembered that he really, really wanted to watch this. He looked down again in time to see Rose turn her head and slide her tongue sideways along the underside, then back toward the tip before taking him in her mouth again, moving her head as far forward as she could, and pulling back, setting up a rhythm.

"Oh, God, Rose..." Jack felt like his whole body was enveloped in Rose's mouth. Except his lower back, because that's where he could feel the Doctor's own erection pressing against him. The Doctor put a hand to the back of Jack's head to turn it sideways and meet Jack's mouth with his own, and Jack suddenly decided that getting these two drunk and asking them to take him to bed was possibly the best idea he had ever had in his entire life. The thrusts of the Doctor's tongue in his mouth matched the thrusts of Rose's mouth over his cock, and Jack changed "possibly" to "definitely."

He gave himself over to the sensation for a while, but soon, far too soon, he was getting dangerously close to the point of no return. He reluctantly pulled his mouth away from the Doctor and looked back down. "Rose... oh, God, sweetheart, you have to stop," he choked out, reaching a hand down to the side of her head. She seductively met his eyes as she pulled on him one last time, swirling her tongue around the tip before leaving a kiss there for good measure. She let him help her up, and he quickly captured her mouth, tasting the warmth that had just surrounded him as he backed her toward the bed.

Moments after Rose felt her legs hit the edge of the mattress, she felt the strong, familiar arms of the Doctor lifting her onto it, wrapping around her waist as he settled against the headboard, cradling her against his front. Jack followed on his hands and knees, momentarily hovering over them both as he kissed Rose, then the Doctor, then Rose again. He worked his way down her throat, lightly moving his mouth around and over her breast before pulling the nipple into his mouth, suckling lazily. In the meantime, he let one hand drift almost unnoticed across her waist and stomach, then lower.

The Doctor's hands moved over her upper arms, holding them in gentle restraint as Jack slid one finger inside her, then out, then in again before adding a second. He grinned a bit wickedly as she tried to grind against his hand, but he moved with her, denying her the friction she was seeking until she gave up with a soft moan of frustration. When she stilled, he turned his palm up and hooked his fingers inside her, moving them slowly in and out, once, twice. As he moved his fingers in a third time, he brushed his thumb over her clit.

Rose came instantly, hot and hard against Jack's hand. "That's it, love, just like that," the Doctor whispered as her head snapped back. She strained a bit against his grip on her arms, but he held her close, murmuring in her ear as she bucked against him.

Jack watched her intently, slowly withdrawing his hand when her shudders subsided and moving it to his own cock. The vision before him, Rose's soft, flushed body cradled by the Doctor, made his need ratchet up far too high. Almost without thinking about it, he began to stroke his hand, wet with her, over his hard flesh. He was so focused on Rose's face that he hadn't noticed that the Doctor had released her arms, until one of them reached for him.

"Jack," she whispered with a catch, still out of breath. "Wait... come here..."

The Doctor shifted himself out from under her, settling on his side as Jack moved up and over her. But instead of lowering himself against her body, he stayed balanced on one hand as the other reached for the Doctor first, pulling him into a hard, deep kiss. It was designed to seek approval, but he found himself rather reluctant to end it, even when he felt the reassurance he'd been looking for. So the kiss continued for a bit, until Jack heard a breathy, guttural, "Oh, my God," at which point he had to end it because he couldn't keep from laughing. He looked down to find Rose staring at them, her eyes as wide as saucers.

"That," she said slowly, "was the hottest thing I have ever seen, ever."

Jack laughed and moved to cover her now, brushing light kisses over her forehead and temple, making his way to her ear to whisper, "Oh, there will be more where that came from. But right now..."

Rose smiled and forced his mouth back to hers. She felt Jack reach down and start to settle himself against her, which made her pull back from him in what seemed like a reflex. She sighed, looking a bit sheepish. "Jack... I'm sorry, but do we need... I mean...?"

"It's fine," he murmured, suppressing a grin at her 21st-century reaction by running his mouth under her jaw, along the tender skin of her neck. "The Time Agency takes care of all of that. No pregnancy, no disease." He reclaimed her mouth for a moment. "Nothing to worry about."

She nodded then, and reached down herself this time, wrapping her hand around his cock and adjusting herself against him. When she let go, he pushed in, slowly, sinking into her, her warmth, her depth, her heat, and it was like every cell in his body realigned at once. Her knees came up as Jack began to move, slowly, barely withdrawing, not wanting to separate from her at all. He noticed as one of her hands fell from his body to the mattress next to her. He glanced down in time to see the Doctor's hand grasp it, and Jack felt oddly relieved. He knew that the Doctor's jealousy, or rather the absence of it, was the keystone of this entire arrangement, and Rose reaching for the Doctor's hand while Jack moved inside her was rather reassuring.

As was the feeling of the Doctor's other hand on the back of Jack's head, moving solidly in his hair before trailing down his spine and over his backside. Jack groaned, pumping harder now, his mouth moving over the hollow of Rose's throat as she closed her eyes beneath him, her head straining back against the pillow. He felt the Doctor's hand roam over his ass for a moment or two, then drift down his hip a bit. Jack took the hint and slowed his movements, straightening his arms to lift his body from Rose's, allowing the Doctor's hand to slip between them and down, to where they were joined.

Rose let out a short gasp as her head jerked up off the pillow and her eyes flew open, fixing on the point where they were now all connected.

"Come again for him." The Doctor's voice was low, quiet, powerful. "Let go."

Rose cried out involuntarily. The physical sensation, the emotion, the electrifying connection circulating among the three of them... she never knew she was capable of feeling this much. She clutched at the Doctor's hand while her other hand wrapped around Jack's neck, holding his head to hers as he pounded into her. His hips moved against the Doctor's hand which caused it to move against her clit, and it did not take long before her back arched and she came again, clenching around Jack, who was still moving inside her. She felt him continue to thrust, just a few more strokes, until he slammed into her with a shout and his body shuddered against hers.

After a few long moments during which the room filled with the sounds of three people struggling to catch their collective breath, Jack groaned, pulling up and out of Rose as he fell to her side and threw one arm over his eyes.

"Wow," he panted.

Rose laughed. "Yeah," she said. "Wow." The Doctor's hand began to move from its position between her legs. She sighed and closed her eyes, stretching into his touch as his hand moved up her body, over her stomach, her ribcage, her breast, until his palm reached her cheek. She opened her eyes again as he turned her head toward him.

"Hi," she whispered, her smile widening.

"Hi," the Doctor replied, looking at her intently. He paused a moment. "You are so... so..." He shook his head slightly, oddly at a loss. He closed his eyes, raised the hand that held hers, and pressed his mouth to her palm.

Rose looked at him for a long time, touched by his silence. "So," she finally said, repeating him with a smile. "What are we going to do about you?"

He smiled back, into her palm, then lowered her hand. "Rose, I'm fine. Really. This is about you."

Rose shook her head. "This is about all of us." She glanced back at Jack, who was still lying with his arm over his head, but she could tell by the way the corner of his mouth pricked up, in a half-hearted attempt not to smile, that he was not asleep. She turned her attention back to the Doctor, pulling herself up to push him flat against the mattress. She covered his mouth and kissed him deeply, trailing one hand down over his chest and stomach, circling his hipbones until he grunted into her mouth and tried to turn himself to make contact with her hand.

She smiled as she moved her mouth down his body, following the trail her hand had just made. "Fine, are you?" The Doctor sighed, and watched her wrap her hand around the base of his erection, pull her hair back from her face, then find his gaze before lowering. She held his eye contact as she licked at the head once, twice, moaning when she tasted him, then pulled him into her mouth with impatience.

The Doctor's eyes never wavered from her face.

Rose glanced over to Jack, who was now turned toward them, watching the scene with a great deal of interest. He grinned widely, sliding over the bed like a serpent. "Mind if I cut in?" he asked, his voice nothing but mischief.

Rose hollowed her cheeks and pulled up one last time. "Not at all," she replied, her wet lips breaking apart into a wicked smile.

The Doctor shifted, pulling up on his elbows a bit as Rose and Jack took a moment to switch places. "Jack," he said, a bit hesitantly. "Listen, if you want me to, I can... you know..." He waved a hand in Jack's general direction, looking for all the world like he hoped he wouldn't have to actually say what he was offering to do.

Jack smiled as he settled himself between the Doctor's legs. "Believe me, I will take you up on that offer, and sooner rather than later. But not right now." He took gentle hold of the Doctor's cock as Rose had just done, moving his loose fist up and down, slowly, experimentally. "Let this be about you for a while, huh?" He licked slowly up the underside, then pulled his tongue back in his mouth and let his eyes fall closed. "Mmm, I can taste you both. Hot." And with that, he pulled the Doctor into his mouth and slid down, and up, and down again.

Rose curled into the Doctor's side, settling her head on his shoulder, unable to tear her eyes away from the sight of his shaft disappearing and reappearing, in and out of Jack's mouth. She couldn't believe, after the night she had had, that she could possibly get turned on again, but watching Jack at work sent a new rush of heat through her otherwise exhausted body. Then she felt the Doctor's hand in her hair, pulling her head around, and when she turned it toward him, he captured her mouth, ravaging it with all the power she had ever felt in him before, his tongue moving in and around her mouth like he had never tasted her before, leaving her utterly breathless.

The kiss came to an abrupt end when the Doctor jerked his head and grunted into the crook of her neck, his eyes squeezed shut and his brows knotted together. She looked down, her eyes going wide at the sight. Jack had come up on his hands and knees to find the right angle, and the entire length of the Doctor's cock had disappeared completely into Jack's mouth.

He stayed like that for a second, then pulled back up, eliciting a groan from the Doctor. Jack took a couple of short breaths, then inhaled deeply as he angled his head and slowly did it again, gripping the Doctor's hips as he moved all the way down.

"Oh, my God," Rose whispered for the second time that night.

The Doctor's hips thrust upward and Jack pulled off again, chuckling deep in his throat as he replaced his mouth with his fist and cocked an eyebrow at Rose. "I told you there was more," he grinned, then nodded toward the Doctor, who appeared to be trying not to buck against Jack's hand, but was failing spectacularly.

"Jack..." the Doctor finally muttered, with more than a hint of desperation. Jack chuckled again, then went down on the Doctor in earnest, his mouth and hand working in tandem.

Rose watched all of it, entirely fascinated by her new perspective. She'd never seen the Doctor in the throes of passion from any kind of distance before; she was always under him, or over him, or in front of him where she couldn't see him at all. Besides, he never came before she did, so she was always in a bit of a fog when it happened for him anyway.

So she watched him now, this strong, lean, powerful creature with the body of a man but the mind and the heart and the soul of something else, someone else, and tears jumped to Rose's eyes as she contemplated whether she would ever truly understand him, even if she was given the lifetimes that he had. She watched him, watched his face, his eyes closed in concentration, almost subdued, she thought, compared to how her own face must look at a similar moment. She wondered at his restraint, wondered at the power and the pain that dwelled under those eyelids, and it was almost more than her mind could process.

Rose moved one hand over the top of the Doctor's head to the opposite side, and pressed a gentle, undemanding kiss to his temple. He came almost immediately, thrusting hard into Jack's mouth, a low, tempered groan escaping his throat. Rose held her mouth to the side of his head until he was finished and his body relaxed into her.

Jack pulled off the Doctor slowly, swallowing several times before rubbing his jaw with a satisfied smile. He reached behind him, grabbing the edge of the bedcovers from the foot of the bed and pulling them up with him as he collapsed next to Rose. She turned toward him and offered him a good night kiss, light and sweet. Jack took it, then smiled, winked at her, yawned, and once again threw an arm over his eyes.

Rose turned back to the Doctor, settling down facing him. He turned onto his side and brought a hand to her cheek.

"How are you doing?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

Rose smiled, and sighed, and kissed him. Without opening her eyes again, she crooked her head into his neck, snaked an arm over his waist, and fell asleep in less than a minute.

The Doctor watched her sleep for a very long time, longer than he usually did, before slipping silently out and away, as he always did.


	5. Part Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally published on Livejournal in 2008.

Rose drifted from sleep, slowly, languorously. Her body felt heavy and tired, aching a bit in a few spots, but deeply satisfied, like it had been nourished in something it had been lacking for a long time. She sensed the body heat of one other person in the bed and instinctively burrowed in its direction, exhaling in contentment.  
  
"Morning." Jack's voice was quiet, but awake.  
  
"Morning," she replied, pulling her eyes open and smiling at the face she saw next to her on the pillow.  
  
"How are you feeling?" Jack reached up and scattered his fingertips over her temple and cheek, smoothing back a few strands of hair.  
  
Rose thought for a moment, then sighed happily. "It's hard to say. 'Good' doesn't quite seem to cover it."  
  
He chuckled at that. "Yeah, I know what you mean."  
  
Rose turned on her back and stretched, then relaxed again and nestled comfortably against Jack, who had turned from his stomach onto his side and now looked down at her with mild, but visible, concern.  
  
Rose caught the change of expression. "What is it?"  
  
"He's not here." Jack winced a bit. "Is it weird, or something, that he's not here?"  
  
Rose shook her head and stretched again. "It's okay. He doesn't need much sleep. He doesn't stay when it's just me, actually." She shrugged and sat up, noticing an ache even in her shoulders as she settled back against the headboard. "Most of the time he comes back before I wake up, but not always." She smiled ruefully. "He has a hard time being in one place too long."  
  
Jack rolled his eyes. "I've noticed." He sighed and mirrored her smile for a moment. "I just don't want to cause trouble. If it's a problem, I can try to make sure I'm the first to clear out, from now on..."  
  
"I like that you stayed." Rose looked at him kindly. "I _want_ you to stay. I'll talk to him, okay? But I'm sure it's fine. He wouldn't have left if it wasn't, even if that meant staring at the ceiling all night."  
  
It was Jack's turn to stretch, which he accompanied with a roaring yawn before he sat up. "God, I need a very long, very hot shower. Unless..." He turned back toward Rose and wagged his eyebrows, then made an exaggerated show of trying peer down the front of the sheet she held clutched around her chest.  
  
Rose laughed and swung a pillow at him. "Forget it. First of all, I'm starving. Second of all," she laughed, wrinkling her nose, "you really _do_ need a shower..."  
  
Jack had just grabbed his own pillow to return the strike when they both stopped short, their attention diverted by a flash of black leather as the Doctor ran past the door at top speed. They heard him stop, and a fraction of a second later, he doubled back to the doorway, staring in at them with a twinge of exasperation. "Oi, you two, get a move on! I found this planet where they took 'going green' to a whole new level. Every single thing is, literally, green! We're going to need some body paint, of course, otherwise we'll be arrested, but it should be something to see."  
  
Rose and Jack stared at him, speechless and motionless.  
  
"Well, come on!!" the Doctor shouted, then dashed off again. His two companions turned to look at each other with wide eyes, then broke into fits of laughter as they jumped out of bed.  
  
*  *  *  *  *  *  *  
  
At the end of the day, all three of them stood under the decontamination showers in the med bay, scrubbing themselves -- and occasionally each other -- free of green... whatever. When the last of it had swirled down the drains, Jack nonchalantly mentioned that he was making an early night of it, kissed Rose and the Doctor in turn, and headed out toward his own room.  
  
The Doctor's brows knit together as he watched Jack leave. "Okay, well, that was weird."  
  
Rose slipped on a robe and started to wring a towel through her hair. "Why? Maybe he's just tired. We've had quite a busy 24 hours, you know."  
  
"Rose..." The Doctor finished pulling on a pair of pyjama bottoms and turned to look at her, folding his arms across his chest. "Don't bother trying. What's going on?"  
  
She sighed. "He's a little freaked out that you... left."  
  
The Doctor shrugged, just slightly. "Did you tell him I don't sleep?"  
  
"Yes, but that doesn't matter. I think it made him nervous that we were there alone. Without adult supervision, like." Rose paused, quiet for a moment. Something was puzzling her. "You didn't come back on purpose, right? I mean, when it's just me, you usually come back, but you decided to stay away this time."  
  
"Yes," he answered coolly.  
  
"Why?"  
  
He took her towel from her and turned away, busying himself with tidying up. "To give you time alone, if you wanted it."  
  
"Time alone?" Rose asked, skeptical.  
  
"Yes," the Doctor said, his voice a bit indignant. "Time alone. To do... whatever. If you wanted it. It's not a big deal, Rose."  
  
"Really." Rose didn't believe a word.  
  
"Really," the Doctor spat back.  
  
"So that's why you're being... like this?" She waved a hand at him in frustration. "Let me ask you something. Do _you_ want time alone with Jack?"  
  
He scoffed and adopted his most patronizing expression, as though she had just asked him if he wanted time alone with a Slitheen. "Rose. Please."  
  
"Then why..." Rose paused, staring at him for a minute, until the realization dawned on her. "Wait, you're _jealous_?"  
  
"Don't be ridiculous." The Doctor scowled at her for a second, thoroughly unamused, before returning his gaze to the floor.  
  
"You are," Rose said, trying not to crack a smile. "Captain envy, a tiny little bit there, and I have to tell you, it just made me all hot."  
  
"Rose, this isn't a joke."  
  
"I'm not joking." She moved right into him, running her palms over the bare skin of his chest and leaning up to nuzzle his neck. "Here you are, all clean, and cool, and jealous, and I am so, so hot for you," she purred, breaking up the words with nips and kisses along his jaw, then pulling away to look him in the eye. "So listen to me. Leave and come back, leave and don't come back. Nothing will ever happen between me and Jack if you're not around. I told you last night, this is about all of us, and all of us means you. I need you there."  
  
When he finally relaxed, and bent to kiss her, she teasingly backed away. When he looked at her questioningly, she held his face and whispered, "Don't you know I'm yours?" and kissed him with everything she had.  
  
*  *  *  *  *  *  *  
  
"Say it again."  
  
The Doctor was over her, moving in her, rougher than usual.  
  
"I'm yours," Rose gasped. She was straining back against the pillow, her eyes screwed shut.  
  
"Again. Say it to me," the Doctor pleaded, bringing one hand to the back of her neck and gently but firmly tilting her head forward to face him.  
  
Her eyes slowly opened, and she stared into him, taking a breath. "I'm yours," she said again, more forceful this time.  
  
Then closed her eyes again, and whispered it to him, over and over, until the words were lost in her throat as she shuddered underneath him.  
  
Hearing her, watching her, feeling her body clench around him, he closed his eyes and let himself go, following her release almost immediately, wishing he could also expel the untenable paradox that was starting to haunt him.  
  
He knew she was speaking the truth, knew it in every bone in his body.  
  
Yet he was completely unable to believe her.  
  
*  *  *  *  *  *  *  
  
It didn't take them long to settle into a bit of a routine. Jack had no problem letting Rose and the Doctor take the lead with regard to their sleeping arrangements on a night-by-night basis. He knew all along he'd be spending quite a few nights on his own, and he was fine with that, mostly because -- as much as he didn't want to admit it -- from time to time, he actually needed the sleep.  
  
The Doctor, in turn, always deferred to Rose to decide how they spent the night. On any given day he was fine with either option, and he found that she still chose to spend at least as many nights alone with him as they did with Jack. He knew that this was likely a practical decision, as her body needed rest as well, but a part of him wondered if she wasn't doing it to reassure him, to make sure he continued to be okay with everything.  
  
And he was, truthfully, okay with it. The addition of Jack to their company on a regular basis was interesting and pleasurable to him, certainly; he had an appreciation for Jack's beauty, much like every other creature with a pulse. But more importantly, the addition of Jack was interesting and pleasurable to Rose. He watched her eyes light up at Jack's playfulness, and also saw them go dark with a surprisingly strong passion when she watched him and Jack together. He saw her enjoying herself, reveling in her uniquely human sexuality, exploring another side of her adventurous spirit.  
  
He supposed these things satisfied him, as much as he could ever expect.  
  
*  *  *  *  *  *  *  
  
The three of them were stretched out in a row, all of them on their backs, all of them breathing heavily. Rose loved this moment just as much as any that led up to it. There was something so comforting about it, the three of them together, awake, quiet, and satisfied.  
  
After a while, she took a deep breath, held it for a second, and broke the silence.  
  
"I want to try something... different."  
  
Her eyes were wide and serious as she looked to her right at Jack, facing her on the pillow, then turned her head back to the Doctor behind her, who propped himself up on one hand so she could see him better, and so he could read her better.  
  
"Okay," the Doctor replied, looking serious even as his eyes sparked.  
  
"I want... I don't really know how to say this..." Here her voice broke into a small laugh, a nervous one, which she hated at times like these, when she was trying to be brave and mature, like them. She closed her eyes and took another breath.  
  
"I want to try... what you do," she exhaled, looking again at Jack, then back up to the Doctor, then back to Jack as she spoke. "You know... the way... how _you_ do it... men, you know, the two of you..." She could feel the blush rise in her cheeks and thought she might die as she lowered her eyes and burrowed her head into the pillow. She trusted them more than anyone she'd ever known, and this was the place she felt the safest, between them, surrounded by them. But she knew she wasn't at their level in age, or experience, or maturity, and she could still get embarrassed by forthrightness.  
  
Rose felt the Doctor's mouth on her neck, and could have sworn it was in the shape of smile. She looked over at Jack as he reached a hand to her face. His eyes were on fire.  
  
"Rose," he said quietly, "don't be nervous. There's nothing wrong with being curious about it. I mean, there are physiological reasons why men find it enjoyable, but I've known plenty of women..." he trailed off, finally giving into the kind laughter that had been creeping up his throat. He kissed her solidly. "Of course we can do that."  
  
She smiled at him, feeling a bit relieved, and turned up to the Doctor. "What do you think?" she whispered.  
  
"I think I'm fine with whatever you want to do," he said, kissing her himself now, in a gesture of reassurance. He pulled up and looked at her again, then lowered his mouth to kiss her temple as he moved his eyes to Jack. He said gently, "I think it should be him, though."  
  
She turned to Jack, who was looking back at them with mild surprise. He had assumed she'd want the Doctor.  
  
"Um, okay," she said haltingly. "I hadn't really thought about it, but whatever you think..." She looked back and forth between the two of them. She got so nervous even making the suggestion that she hadn't been able to think about what might actually happen, how it would work.  
  
"I just..." The Doctor hauled back up onto his hand, looking at Jack steadily. "Don't take this the wrong way, Jack, but you've had a bit more experience than I have."  
  
Jack laughed. "There's a wrong way to take that?" He mirrored the Doctor's position, up on his hand, grinning a grin the Cheshire Cat would kill for.  
  
The Doctor rolled his eyes before looking back down at Rose. "Seriously, Rose... he'll have..." -- the Doctor searched for the right word -- "well... technique, I guess, that I might not." He fell back down on his back in frustration, then turned to face her and said, quietly, "It's a different thing, and I'm afraid I'd hurt you."  
  
She smiled at him as Jack sat up slowly and cleared his throat. "Wait, wait, I'm sorry, let's just back up a moment. So what you're saying is, between the two of us, _I'm_ the one with the moves, is that it?"  
  
The Doctor stared straight up at the ceiling, pretending to curse himself. "Yeah, he'll be insufferable, now."  
  
Jack laced his fingers behind his head and leaned back against the headboard, his chest jutting out. "You know, there's a saying, one that echoes near and far, all across the universe..."  
  
"Oh, here we go," Rose said playfully, her eyes dancing.  
  
"... all different times, all different races. Yes, ladies _and_ gentlemen..."  
  
"No, no, please..." the Doctor muttered under Jack's voice.  
  
"That's right! _Once you go Jack, you never_..."  
  
The Doctor groaned loudly and threw back the covers as Rose burst out laughing, giving Jack a sharp elbow to the ribs. Jack doubled over before falling across Rose and half laughing, half growling into her neck, his hands catching her waist and digging in to tickle her.  
  
"I'm going to the shower," the Doctor announced as he rolled out of bed. He looked down in mock annoyance at the pair of giggling humans. "Anyone whose name isn't 'Jack' is most welcome to join me."


	6. Part Five

Jack was settled into the overstuffed armchair in the corner of their collective bedroom, his legs stretched out in front of him and his chin in one hand, and right now, he was struggling to breathe evenly due to what was happening in front of him.  
  
He thought the whole thing would be easier for Rose if she had already come once, to help her relax and get over her nerves. Given the job he had to do later, he decided to sit this one out, though it wasn't really that much of a sacrifice. He always enjoyed watching Rose and the Doctor in action together, whether it was fighting for their lives or... this.  
  
Speaking of which, across the room from where Jack sat, the Doctor was on his knees on the floor at the foot of the bed, bent over the edge, his mouth buried between Rose's legs. Rose was a vision, her fists mindlessly clutching at the sheets, her head snapping back and forth on the pillow. Occasionally, her chin would shoot up toward the ceiling, a motion usually accompanied by an exquisite moan, expressing an intense combination of both pleasure and torment.  
  
At one point, while her head was turned in Jack's direction, Rose opened her eyes and saw him staring at her. She held her breath, just for a moment, until she saw his mouth spread into a wide, almost evil grin, conveying both the satisfaction with what he was seeing at the moment and the promise of what was in store for her later.  
  
His expression alone nearly put her over the edge. Rose pulled up her knees, the motion causing the Doctor to lift his eyes, and she reached down for him in desperate need. "Please," she whimpered, her breath catching on every word. "Please, up here, Doctor, _please_..."  
  
The Doctor didn't hesitate. In one, two, three moves he was extended over her, his hard angles pressing into her soft curves. He buried his tongue in her mouth and kissed the breath out of her, knowing she could taste herself, inhaling her cries as she pressed down on his back. He could never get close enough.  
  
He reached down between their bodies and guided himself so that he was barely inside her, then ended the kiss to watch her face as he pushed his hips forward and entered her completely. He watched her every time, and every time it was like he had never seen her expression before. He could never see it enough.  
  
Sensing her need, he drove into her hard, relentless in his rhythm. Their eyes locked and in what seemed like no time at all she was lost, coming powerfully underneath him, her hips bucking and her muscles contracting around him, pulling him into the depths of her. Watching her face again was all he needed. In two more thrusts he joined her, stifling a moan against her neck as lights, always lights, exploded in front of his eyes. He fell against her, breathing in the scent of the two of them together, again thinking he could never get enough of it, of this, of her.  
  
He could never, really, get enough.  
  
* * * * * * *  
  
The Doctor pushed up onto his hands and slowly pulled out of her before falling onto his back. The two of them lay there, gasping for breath, for several long moments.  
  
A low, somewhat strangled voice floated toward them. "That was... _incredibly_ hot."  
  
Rose couldn't help cracking a grin. She hauled herself up and threw an arm over the Doctor's stomach, propping her chin on his chest, looking over to where Jack sat. "You liked that, did ya?"  
  
"Very much. I doubt I could have done better myself." Jack heard the Doctor chuckle as he got up and headed to the small bar in the corner, silently congratulating himself on his self-restraint. He could very well have come from just watching them, without putting a hand on his body, if he hadn't kept telling himself that tonight was about Rose, and occasionally trying to count to a million in his head as fast as he could.  
  
Jack grabbed three bottles of water and carried them to the bed, placing two of them on the table closest to the Doctor and taking a swig from the third as he moved around to the other side. He put down the bottle and looked at the two satisfied figures with great affection as he slid off his pyjama bottoms in one smooth motion and crawled in, settling himself at Rose's side.  
  
"Hi there," she said softly, reaching her hand to curl around his head.  
  
"Hi yourself," he replied, meeting her lips with his, a sweet, shallow kiss, savoring the taste radiating from her mouth. He groaned at the feel of her fingers brushing the hairline at the back of his neck. It was her favorite of his weak spots.  
  
The kiss ended, and her head fell heavily back down to the pillow. She blinked up at him as he brushed a strand of hair from her forehead. Jack laughed softly. "Just rest for a while, okay? Don't worry," he whispered into her ear, "I won't let you forget about me."  
  
* * * * * * *  
  
Jack drifted awake a couple of hours later, feeling Rose shifting in his arms, her bare rear end brushing against his lower abdomen. He sighed happily at the friction. Then she shifted again, moving a little lower. His cock pulsed slightly and his eyes opened, a grin spreading across his face. Was that an accident?  
  
She shifted again. Hello.  
  
"Are you trying to finish this before we even start?" he growled.  
  
She giggled and turned into him. "I've been awake for a bit. Wondering how long you were going to make me wait."  
  
He waggled his eyebrows and nodded toward the sleeping figure facing them behind her. "Why don't you try that little trick on him, and we'll see what we can do here."  
  
The figure spoke. "What little trick would that be?" said the Doctor, without opening his eyes.  
  
Rose giggled again, her eyes dancing at Jack as she scooted back against the Doctor, her bum moving suggestively up and down the length of him.  
  
The Doctor smiled. "Oh, _that_ little trick," he said. He pushed up and balanced on one hand as he leaned over her, silencing her giggles with a powerful, possessive kiss. He slowly lowered himself back to the bed, encouraging her to follow until she turned to face him. She moaned appreciatively as he wedged a knee in between her legs, propping them open slightly.  
  
Jack moved into Rose's back. He and the Doctor effectively sandwiched her between them, tightly yet comfortably, all three on their sides, Jack and the Doctor facing each other, Rose facing the Doctor.  
  
Jack spoke quietly. "Rose, just listen to me for a minute, okay? There's nothing to be afraid of, but this is going to take some concentration at first, and you have to promise that you'll tell me if anything starts to hurt in a not-good way."  
  
"Okay," she replied.  
  
"Promise?" Jack asked again, this time lifting his head to make eye contact with the Doctor. _You have to promise too, because I can't see her face._ The Doctor nodded silently.  
  
"I promise," Rose said solemnly.  
  
"Okay. This is all about you, remember, so don't try to force anything. If you want to stop, we stop."  
  
"I'll tell you, I will."  
  
"Good. Now, I don't want to get too technical or anything, but here's what happens with this. We're trying to move in one direction in a place that only knows about moving in the other direction. We're not asking the impossible, but it's going to take some focus on your part. There are two muscles involved, one on the outside and one on the inside. Their contractions are usually involuntary, but you can control them if you try. We're going to start out by having you focus on relaxing them, one at a time, until they get used to what's going on. Does that make sense?"  
  
Rose nodded. "Yes."  
  
"Okay." Jack leaned in and kissed her neck, and she allowed her eyes to drift close. "I know it seems like work, but trust me," he breathed, running his tongue over the top of her ear. "If we take a little time at the beginning, after just a few minutes..." -- a quick bite on her earlobe -- "you can let go, and it'll feel incredible."  
  
He felt her shudder as he trailed kisses along her hairline, then down her spine. His hand came up and continued running along her back, just barely skimming her skin, until he reached the curve of her ass. He dipped his hand lower and was satisfied to find the intended effect -- his fingers, wet with her moisture, trailed slowly and deliberately back and up, smoothing the way to their goal.  
  
* * * * * * *  
  
"God, Rose..." Jack swallowed his words, not wanting to rush her, but feeling himself losing control. _Keep it together, you rat bastard,_ he told himself, steadying his breathing. _This is about her, not you._  
  
The head of his cock was just inside her, and he was waiting, letting her get comfortable. They had practiced with one finger, then two, but this was still a major adjustment, even with generous lubrication. He could feel her muscles tightening involuntarily around the intrusion, then slowly relaxing as she inhaled and focused, and it was driving him absolutely mad.  
  
"It's okay," Rose breathed. "Go ahead..." Her eyes were shut tight in concentration as she battled to relax, stay still, and not fall completely into the abyss of sensation that loomed ahead of her.  
  
Jack looked to the Doctor, who nodded slightly, his eyes never leaving Rose's face.  
  
And with that, Jack pushed all the way into her, exhaling a low, guttural moan of unadulterated satisfaction. He held himself there, eyes squeezed shut, revelling in her tight grip, drawing on every ounce of strength he had in him to fight the urge to just... start... fucking her.  
  
Rose had gasped as Jack filled her. "You okay?" the Doctor whispered after a moment, as she breathed hotly through clenched teeth. She nodded and inhaled deeply in an attempt to steady her breathing. She looked up at the Doctor, her eyes blazing, and the corners of her mouth picked up in a sly, sexy smile.  
  
Then, she slowly, very, _very_ slowly, pulled her pelvis forward.  
  
Underneath his lids, Jack's eyes nearly rolled to the back of his head. He didn't have to start fucking her. She was fucking _him_.  
  
She continued moving her hips toward the Doctor until she felt the head of Jack's cock just barely inside her, like it was at the beginning, then she pushed back, slowly again, exploring the dizzying sensation. During regular sex, she always felt friction just as Jack or the Doctor was entering her; beyond that, higher up in her body, she only felt fullness, or the absence of it. But now, now she could feel every inch of him, moving in and out of her, and it was extraordinary.  
  
She moved forward again, a little bit faster, then back, pressing her forehead into the Doctor's as she slid back into Jack's body.  
  
Jack groaned and wondered if it was possible for him to chew his lower lip clean off. If there was a medal for self-restraint, he would have won it by light years, but even he had his limits. At first, he had wanted Rose to take her time, to experiment with what she was feeling, but at some point she was going to have to let him go or he thought he might well and truly pass out.  
  
The next time she moved forward, he gripped her waist with one hand, stopping her from moving back. "Rose, I... I have to..." He tried to explain, but coherent language seemed to be beyond his capability at the moment.  
  
"Jack," she whimpered, her breath catching on his name. "Please... I want to feel you..." She leaned her head back and turned, as far as she could manage, to face him, her fogged mind clearing enough to utter two short words...  
  
" _Fuck me_."  
  
Jack growled into the back of her neck and plunged into her, abandoning any attempt to be gentle or patient. As he worked to establish a steady, pounding rhythm, he thrilled to the sound of her stocatto moans, exhaled in tandem with each thrust of his hips.


	7. Part Six

Her face. He watched her face, all the time.  
  
She hadn't yet developed any kind of mask. It twisted his insides to think that someday -- hopefully long after she was finished with him, and hopefully not entirely because of him -- she would learn how to hide her expressions, how to stop her eyes from giving away everything she was thinking. He knew it would happen sooner or later, though, because that was the only way humans could survive each other.  
  
For now, when he could see them, her eyes were the clearest of windows. They told him things she wouldn't say out loud. She wanted him to think she was brave, but her eyes told him when she needed reassurance that they were not, at least not right that minute, going to be killed. They gave her away when she was too tired to understand whatever he was on about, but was indulging him anyway. They told him when she needed to go back to early 21st century London for a little while, even when she'd insist she wasn't at all homesick.  
  
And of course, of course, they told him he was loved, constantly, unquestioningly. In odd moments that otherwise meant nothing, he could look over at her, capture her gaze, and search for it, and she'd unwittingly comply, because she hadn't yet learned how to hide it.  
  
Sex with her was the same, but different, of course. Her face would show expressions of joy, bliss, incomprehensible ecstasy, and he would watch those expressions, watch her, searching for the confirmation that he was the cause. He wanted to see it every time, this proof that she belonged to him.  
  
Which is why the arrangement with Jack didn't bother him. Rose was young and energetic and silly and Jack was too, and therefore he provided a certain kind of outlet for her that the Doctor couldn't, and that was fine. She loved Jack, yes -- the Doctor did, too -- but however much she shared her body with him, there were parts of her that only the Doctor could reach. He knew that, without doubt. He knew it.  
  
But the Doctor was broken. He had to keep checking, keep testing her. He hated himself for it, but he couldn't stop.  
  
He couldn't get enough.  
  
*  *  *  *  *  *  *  
  
He watched Rose intently as Jack pounded into her, saw her pupils large and dark, dilated with need and excitement. Her eyes were leveled in his direction, but she was not _seeing_ him, not anymore.  
  
Which is why, without moving his eyes from hers, he trailed the back of one hand down the front of her body until it reached her waist. Then, turning the palm toward her and timing his movement to match one of Jack's thrusts, he slid the tips of his fingers down and over her clit.  
  
She gasped sharply, her eyes snapping back into focus, staring into him, her senses shocked, almost beyond capacity.  
  
Jack stilled his movements immediately. He couldn't see or feel what the Doctor had done. "What is it?" he whispered in her ear, his voice tense with concern. "Rose, did I hurt you?" He reached up a hand to smooth her sweat-slicked hair from her forehead, brushing his mouth over her neck.  
  
The Doctor's hand stayed exactly where it was, his eyes boring into hers.  
  
"No," Rose choked out. "God, no, don't stop, please..." Her eyes fell closed for a moment, then opened again, unable to look anywhere but into the depths of the Doctor's. Her hips moved backward to reassure Jack. The Doctor's hand went with them. "Don't stop."  
  
The Doctor knew she was talking to him, too, and he was satisfied. For the moment.  
  
Jack began moving in and out of her again, his pace quickening. The Doctor slid his hand down a little further, moving the heel of his palm back and forth, slightly at first, across her clit. Then the pressure grew stronger, and stronger still. Finally, in one smooth motion that took no longer than a second, he curled his second and third fingers and pushed them up and back, deep inside her core.  
  
Time slowed down for all of them then.  
  
Jack muttered an expletive or two as he slid inside her in what felt like slow motion. The Doctor's fingers noticeably increased the pressure on his cock. He could actually feel the Doctor, through Rose, the three of them, together.  
  
And Rose, her eyes locked into the Doctor's, could feel each of them, and feel them sensing each other, in her body, through her body...  
  
Through the ever-thickening cloud in her mind, she felt Jack come, actually felt the warmth of his seed spilling inside her, the added tightness from the Doctor sending him rocketing over the edge.  
  
...too much...  
  
A few more of Jack's now erratic thrusts coupled with the Doctor's palm grinding mercilessly into her clit, the Doctor's fingers pressing back against Jack's movements, the Doctor's eyes enveloping her... and Rose was lost.  
  
*  *  *  *  *  *  *  
  
She exploded with a keening cry that she felt in her throat but couldn't seem to be able to hear. Her lower body jerked gracelessly in orgasmic reflexes she could not control. She felt suddenly and inexplicably invaded by the parts of other bodies inside her own. Her chest tightened, her vision went white behind eyes still open to the Doctor's. She felt every cell in her body vibrating and it numbed her, she heard nothing but a deafening silence and she was drowning. She gasped for air and, without knowing it, began to sob as her body surrendered, collapsing bonelessly between the Doctor and Jack, both of them still inside her and around her and everywhere all at once.  
  
Tears poured from her eyes as her cries intensified, shuddering in her lungs. She felt incoherently desperate for space and sanctity. Her arms shoved against the chests on either side of her, pushing their bodies away from hers, frantic to move them out, outside, so she could find her way back in. She turned onto her back, still pushing, thrashing, _away, get away, air, air_ , and it was not enough. She was suffocating. Her upper body thrust itself off the bed and she doubled over her knees. Her arms wrapped around her chest protectively, her sobs racked her to her bones, and she gave up, and gave in, and let go of any semblance of herself, and cried, and cried, and cried.  
  
*  *  *  *  *  *  *  
  
Jack had just had one of his most powerful climaxes in recent history, but recovered in record time when he realized Rose was beating against his torso in a decidedly unerotic manner. He backed away toward the edge of the bed and blinked in confusion as he tried to regain focus, increasingly horrified that he had done something wrong, had hurt her, had caused this.  
  
Now he felt like even looking at her would be unwelcome, and tears jumped to his eyes. "Rose," he whispered, completely at a loss. He glanced over at the Doctor, who had pulled back to sit up against the headboard. His arms were crossed over his chest, and he was staring intently at Rose's back, stoic as always, almost like he was waiting out a child's tantrum. Jack took a deep breath and reached for her, tentatively. "Rose, sweetheart..."  
  
"No," the Doctor's voice cut in, quiet but sharp. He took his eyes off Rose for a split second to glance darkly at Jack. "Don't touch her, it'll only make it worse."  
  
"How can it be worse?" Jack spit out in an angry whisper. "Look at her. She needs someone to comfort her, and that seems to be my job, seeing as how you..."  
  
"She's not conscious," the Doctor said simply. "She doesn't know where she is. Any physical contact would be perceived by her body as an attack. If you value that pretty face of yours, just stay where you are." He sighed and closed his eyes before glancing at Jack again with as much of a reassuring expression as he could muster. "Don't worry. It's almost over."  
  
Jack stared at him, incredulous. "Don't worry? Is that all you've got? Look at her," he said again, though already she seemed to have quieted a bit. She was still crying, but softer now, a bit more controlled. She took intermittent deep breaths, still racked by shudders. Her hands were crossed over her chest at her shoulders, and she appeared to be rocking slightly, as though trying to soothe herself.  
  
The Doctor didn't respond, at least not in the way Jack expected. Instead, he calmly swung his legs to the floor and reached for his nightshirt. He shrugged it over his shoulders and stood up.  
  
Jack watched him, aghast. "Are you kidding me? You're leaving?" he demanded in as loud a whisper as he could manage.  
  
The Doctor looked back at Rose as he answered. "You were right, comforting her is your job. Stay awake until she falls asleep. You can stay here and sleep next to her, but don't touch her unless she reaches for you."  
  
"You're the one she's going to reach for." It pained Jack a little to say it, but it was the truth, and so help him, if Rose wanted the Doctor when she woke up, then he would damn well make sure the Doctor was there.  
  
"No. She knows I did this. She's going to want you." He turned toward the door.  
  
"And what _exactly_ did you do?" Jack half-whispered, half-shouted after him.  
  
The Doctor left the room without turning around.


	8. Part Seven

Jack did just as the Doctor instructed: he sat still and watched her. It killed him that he couldn't do more; the urge to reach for her and pull her into him and hold her until she came back to herself was overwhelming, but the Doctor knew things he didn't, and Jack had no choice but to believe him. So he watched her, and waited.  
  
Eventually, after endless, countless minutes, her sobs lessened and her breathing became more regular. She took a deep breath and held it, like she was checking for something. Finally, she exhaled slowly and ran her hands over her face and back through her hair.  
  
"Rose?" Jack said softly. He wouldn't touch her first, but he couldn't help calling out to her, now that the storm seemed to have subsided.  
  
Her head lifted a bit at the sound, and she turned toward him, squinting through swollen eyes to try to see him in the dark. "Jack?" Her voice was barely a whisper, as though she were still unsure of her surroundings.  
  
"It's me," Jack replied, still a bit uncertain.  
  
"Oh, Jack..." Rose slowly pulled herself back up the bed to his side, and reaching one arm over his chest, curled against him. She began to cry again, not the wild, shuddering sobs of a few minutes ago, but quietly, tears of exhaustion rather than fear.  
  
Jack felt relief wash over him at the feel of Rose's skin to his. He moved to lay down next to her and gathered her into his arms, gently shushing her. "Rose, darling, you're all right. I'm right here, I'm staying right here." He smoothed her hair back and kissed the top of her head, tears jumping unbidden to his own eyes. "You can sleep now, it'll be okay."  
  
"Thank you," she whispered into his chest.  
  
Jack continued stroking her hair and back. "Just sleep, sweetheart. You're okay, just sleep." He dropped light kisses on her temple and forehead until the tears dried, and her breathing became slow and steady.  
  
Only then did he close his eyes as well, vowing not to let go of her, even as he slept.  
  
*  *  *  *  *  *  *  
  
Rose was still asleep, spooned into Jack, when he awoke. He wouldn't have minded a quick trip to the loo, but he did not want to risk disturbing her, or worse, having her wake up alone, even if he was just in the next room. He resigned himself to lying there all day if he had to, just to avoid that.  
  
He also tried to avoid -- quite unsuccessfuly -- the anger weighing on his chest. The Doctor displaying a lack of emotion, bordering on callousness, was not new, nor even unusual, really, but it _was_ unusual where Rose was concerned. Jack wanted to give him the benefit of every doubt he could think of, but at the end of the day, the Doctor had _left_ ; left Rose in a state of near-clinical hysteria, and left Jack to take care of her. It seemed a coward's way out, which also didn't make sense, from what Jack had learned of the Doctor's character.  
  
But that's what Jack kept coming back to. The Doctor had left her, abandoned her in this terrible state he had caused. It was inexcusable. Jack felt his blood pressure rise. The Doctor deserved a little bit of anger.  
  
The light from the TARDIS's representation of Earth's sun was already coming in the windows, and Rose stirred only a short time later. She pulled away from Jack's body to stretch for a long moment, in several different directions, then settled back down, pressing back against his chest, breathing out a tired sigh.  
  
"Morning," Jack whispered into her ear, testing to see if she was, in fact, awake.  
  
"Hi," Rose answered automatically, though her voice croaked a bit. She lifted a hand to her mouth, then tried to swallow. "Is there water?" she asked in a whisper, turning to face him.  
  
"Yep." Jack reached behind him to the bedside table and grabbed a bottle, propping himself up on his elbow. She pulled up a bit and took several long drinks, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand as he took the empty bottle back from her.  
  
"Thanks," she said, her voice beginning to return, and she fell back to the bed, staring at the ceiling. Her eyes were still swollen, and she opened them wide and then blinked, trying to return some moisture to them. She smiled sheepishly as she caught Jack's eye, pulling the sheet up to cover her mouth and nose. "God, I must look a fright."  
  
"You look beautiful," Jack said without hesitation, reaching down to brush a few errant strands of hair from her forehead. "You'd have to do a lot worse than this to not look beautiful."  
  
"Yeah, yeah," Rose said dismissively. Her eyes fell closed as her smile faded. Inhaling deeply, she sat up and settled back against the headboard. She stared down at her hands, absently rubbing a thumb into the opposite palm, then spoke, quietly.  
  
"Do you... do you know what happened?" She glanced down at him.  
  
Jack sighed, and answered honestly. "No. I'm sorry, sweetheart, but I don't. He... wouldn't tell me." Jack waited for her to continue. If she asked him specifically what he saw, he'd tell her, but only if she asked, because he just didn't think it would help her. There was only one person who could, and it wasn't him.  
  
Rose nodded, defeated. "Not exactly one for over-sharing." She chewed her lip, thoughtful a moment until, unbidden, her eyes filled with tears. She shook her head and took a deep breath, trying to keep from crying. She exhaled and raised her eyes to the ceiling once again, blinking away the tears through sheer force of will.  
  
Jack heart dropped to his stomach as he raised himself to sit next to her. It killed him to see her in pain when he couldn't fix it. "Rose, listen to me. You have every reason to feel confused, even scared. In fact, you have every reason to be angry." Jack reached over to wipe her tears away with his thumb, first from one cheek, then the other. "So when you're ready to talk to him, talk to him, and don't let him stop until he tells you what happened. It happened to _you_. You deserve to know why."  He turned her chin toward him and looked directly into her eyes. "Don't let him off the hook, just because he is who he is."  
  
"Okay," she agreed. "Okay." She smiled at him, through the last of her tears. "Thank you, Jack."  
  
He returned her smile. "You're welcome."  
  
"Not just for the advice, but for, well..." She closed her eyes one more time and let her head fall sideways to rest on his shoulder. "I do remember everything that happened last night, before... and what happened was incredible. You were incredible."  
  
"So were you," Jack replied, planting a kiss on the top of her head. His voice dropped to a whisper. "So were you."  
  
Rose sighed and stretched again. "I think it's time for about three hours in a hot bath," she groaned, sitting forward and glancing around for her dressing gown.  
  
"You want me to bring you some tea?" Jack asked.  
  
Rose chuckled softly, something that was unexpectedly reassuring to him. "Nah, that's okay." She recovered her robe from the foot of the bed and slipped it on, knotting it at the waist. She moved to his side of the bed on her way to the door. "You are skilled at many things, Captain Harkness, but making tea is not one of them." She leaned down to offer him a quick kiss, then paused to press her forehead to his for a heartbeat or two before slipping out toward her own room.  
  
*  *  *  *  *  *  *  
  
Jack showered and made his way to the kitchen. Rose was probably right about his tea-making skills, but he could do something for her, maybe hot chocolate, maybe some toast...  
  
He stopped short when he saw the Doctor leaning against the counter, staring down into his own mug of tea.  
  
The anger that had been dancing around Jack's mind earlier that morning slammed into him full force the instant he saw the Doctor. Still standing in the doorway, he crossed his arms over his chest, making an effort to keep his voice low and controlled. "Morning," he said evenly.  
  
"Morning," the Doctor replied, his voice flat. He didn't look up.  
  
Jack didn't skip a beat. "What the hell did you do to her?"  
  
"Jack..." he began, still staring at his tea.  
  
"What did you do to her?" Jack repeated, a little bit slower this time.  
  
The Doctor paused, swirling the mug. "It's complicated."  
  
"Well, I'm a pretty smart guy," Jack responded evenly. "You'll have to do better than that."  
  
Another pause. "It's also none of your business." With that, the Doctor raised his head to look at Jack with dark, clouded, tired eyes.  
  
Jack snapped. "Of course it's my business," he spat out, moving through the doorway into the kitchen. "I was _there_ , okay? Maybe nothing happened to me directly, but I was there. I had to watch her go through something even _I've_ never seen happen before, wondering if I had anything to do with it, and then you _admitted_ to me that you did it, that you _caused_ it. Am I supposed to just forget about it?"  
  
The Doctor didn't respond, and went back to staring into his tea.  
  
Jack didn't know what else to say. "Look, _I love her too_."  
  
The Doctor's head came up again, slowly this time, and his eyes, clear and sharp now, razored in on Jack, who felt the look like a punch in the solar plexus. Jack saw a challenge in that gaze, almost a dare, one he would never come close to winning, and it was enough to make him back down, at least momentarily.  
  
He exhaled slowly and lowered his voice a decibel or two. "You know what I mean. I love you _both_ , and I don't like seeing people I love get hurt. Rose got hurt last night, right in front of me, and I want to know why."  
  
The Doctor's gaze continued to bore into Jack for a long moment. "It wasn't intentional," he finally said.  
  
"It didn't look like an accident," Jack replied quickly, refusing to look away.  
  
"You really think I _meant_ to hurt her?"  
  
"No, but I think you meant to do whatever it was you did."  
  
The Doctor finally broke their stare, his eyes drifting once more to the mug in his hand.  
  
It was an admission, as much of one as Jack was likely to get. He sighed in frustration. "Okay, fine. Don't talk to me, but you better damn well talk to her. She's hurt, and she's confused, and she's scared. She needs answers, the sooner the better."  
  
"Fine." With that, the Doctor set down his tea, and walked past Jack out of the kitchen.  
  
*  *  *  *  *  *  *  
  
Times like these, Rose wished she could breathe underwater. The tub was so deep that she was just barely floating above the bottom of it, and was long enough that if she could, she would sink down in and allow her head to join her body, and just rest, weightless and silent and submerged.  
  
For now, her head was propped up against the edge, resting on a towel. She lay there, breathing in and out, inhaling the lavender scent of her bath salts and trying not to think. Trying not to think about what happened, about what he might have done to her, about whether she had done anything to cause it, about what all of it meant. Trying not to think about whether she'd have to go home. Trying not to think about the anger welling in the pit of her stomach and the hurt suffocating her chest. Trying. Not succeeding.  
  
And without opening her eyes, without having heard a sound, she knew he was there. Standing in the doorway, watching her.  
  
Rose held her breath, as though she could confirm his presence only in absolute silence, then exhaled in a sigh. "Are you going to come in?" she asked quietly. She didn't move, didn't even open her eyes. She breathed, and waited.  
  
After a minute, she heard his clothes fall to the floor, one item after the other, then felt his body break the surface of the water. He sank down, settling himself against the other side of the tub, stretching his legs out on either side of hers. After several long moments, when the water stilled, the Doctor spoke.  
  
"Do you trust me?"  
  
With that, she raised her head, and looked him straight in the eye. He looked different, somehow. "Yes."    
  
"Even after last night?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Are you afraid of me?"  
  
Her eyes fell closed. She shook her head, lowering her chin to her chest. _Impossible_ , she thought.  
  
"Rose?"  
  
She looked at him again. "I'm not afraid of you." Her tone was indignant, almost.  
  
"But you're afraid of what happened?"  
  
Now she nodded. "Yeah."  
  
"Can you tell me exactly what you felt?"  
  
He waited quietly, watching her gather her thoughts. She stared into the water between them, not really seeing it, for a minute or two, then finally spoke.  
  
"I was... overwhelmed, I guess. Over _powered_. And... I didn't know why. I didn't know what was going on. I couldn't see anything, or hear anything. I felt like I was losing myself, like I was... being pushed out of my own mind. I could feel it happening, but I had no control over it, I couldn't stop it." She paused a moment. "I couldn't make sense of anything, and I was so scared, and I felt myself pushing you and Jack away, but that wasn't what I wanted, not really. I just wanted everything to stop, let me catch up, but I couldn't make it stop. And then I gave up, and I was just... falling, or something, and I just figured it was all over, this was it, I was... dying. But I didn't want to, I didn't want everything to end, not knowing why, not... having the chance..."  
  
She stopped, closing her eyes. The Doctor mentally flogged himself once or twice for what he had done to her the night before, and what he was doing to her now. It was cruel, perhaps, making her relive it, but he needed to know exactly what it was like for her, before he could help her understand... but he couldn't yet, not yet, and he didn't know what to do.  
  
"Hey," he said softly. "Rose, it's all right. Come here." He held his arms out to her, and felt a rush of relief as she pushed up and drifted through the water toward him. He put a hand to her cheek and kissed her gently on the mouth, then turned her to float her back into his chest. He wrapped an arm around her torso, folded his legs over hers, and pressed his mouth to her neck and shoulder. He inhaled her scent, mixed with soap and water and life, pure life, and wondered how long he could keep her just like that.  
  
It wasn't long at all.  
  
"You know what happened," she said quietly, a statement, her voice calm and steady. "You did it, didn't you? So you know."  
  
His eyes fell closed involuntarily. "Yes." Finally. He braced against the onslaught of his internal recriminations as he felt her body tense slightly in his arms. A distinct twitch, a breath, and then another twitch. A recognizable pattern of movements that told him she was trying not to cry.  
  
"Rose, please, listen to me." His voice gave only the smallest hint of panic. He was treading on very unfamiliar ground at the moment. He pressed a hand to her forehead, gently pulling her head back against him as his mouth found her collarbone. He felt like he wanted to absorb her, hold her or hold on to her or hold her down until he could figure out what to say to her, because he knew she wouldn't stay, but he wasn't ready. "I'll tell you, okay? I'll explain everything, but please, not right now. Not in here." He sucked at her tender skin in desperation, moving his way up her neck to her temple. "I promise, I'll tell you everything, answer all your questions. But I need some time."  
  
It wasn't a lie. As he listened to her recount what she had experienced, he realized that there was still far too much to sort out in his own head before he could even begin to try to explain what had happened, what he had done. He didn't want to hurt her any more than he already had, but this was far too complicated, and far too important. If he tried now, before he had it figured out himself, he'd only make things worse.  
  
"Right," she sighed. She inhaled deeply, and the Doctor heard the small shudder that told him he hadn't been able to keep her from crying. "You'll tell me, just not yet, because it's not quite convenient for you, is that right?"    
  
"Rose, no, that's not what I meant..."  
  
Rose shoved against him, scrambling out of the tub and wrapping herself in a long white robe before turning to face him, fury lighting her eyes with a blinding fire. "You are a self-centered _bastard_. All that happened is I got shoved out of my own mind for a while, all that happened is I thought I was _dying_ , and of course, _you did that_ , but yeah, I can wait as long as you like to find out why."  
  
"It's not like that." His voice grew louder, not in anger, but in desperation.  
  
"Of course it's like that. We do everything on _your_ time, don't we, _Time Lord_?" She spat out the last words with bitter venom. He sighed deeply, rubbing his forehead in frustration, and realized when he looked back up at her what a mistake that was. Her eyes were wide with shock and hurt. "And I'm so sorry if my silly questions have annoyed you," she scoffed. "How stupidly human of me to expect that you'd actually tell me what I needed to know just because I asked." She grabbed her clothes from the chair and turned away from him, toward the door.  
  
Now he was angry, though he realized it was a selfish reaction. All the anger in the room had only one rightful target, and it wasn't her. "Rose, wait..."  
  
But she didn't. She left, pulling the door closed behind her, not with a slam, but with a soft click.


	9. Part Eight

The list of things he didn't understand grew longer every day of his life. She teased him about superior intellect, and he let her because it amused him, but the truth was different. Yes, his brain worked faster than a human's, but that didn't mean he understood everything it tried to process.  
  
For one thing, he didn't understand stillness. The state of being stationary. Why it served to slow human minds, either through meditative choice or sedentary laziness.  
  
That's never how it was for him. Stillness, silence, sped everything up, to the brink of madness. He needed a counterbalance. Thus the constant, perpetual motion.  
  
So now he walked, and walked, and walked, navigating the endless corridors of his ship, but no matter how many twists and turns he took seemingly at random, he could only be aware of the wing he was obviously trying very hard to avoid. He slammed his fists against the narrow walls in frustration and moved outside, and kept walking along the shore he found there. When that still didn't work, he ran, pounding the sand with his heavy boots, chased by monsters he conjured himself.  
  
He wondered if he would have to circumnavigate this planet before he reached equilibrium. He wondered how long that would take.  
  
He didn't understand why she hadn't come and told him to take her home. Or sent Jack with the same message, given that she probably could no longer stand the sight of him.  
  
The fact that she hadn't made it worse. It made it _worse_.  
  


He ran until he couldn't run anymore, and he gave up, and there was nothing left to do but walk back, and try to explain. And then, let her go.

*  *  *  *  *  *  *

He found her curled into Jack on the sofa in the telly room, the remains of their dinner on the table in front of them. Her eyes were fixed at the flickering images, but it was a blank stare. He could tell she wasn't engaged in whatever they had found to watch.  
  
When Jack saw the Doctor, he lowered a kiss to the top of Rose's head and gently began to maneuver out from under her. She seemed momentarily confused by his movements, and when she looked up and saw the Doctor, she almost immediately returned her gaze to the television. "You don't have to leave," she said to Jack, her voice flat and disinterested.  
  
"You're right, he doesn't," the Doctor said, walking over to stand between her and the screen. Jack got up anyway, and Rose sat defiantly back into the couch, refusing to meet the Doctor's eyes.

The Doctor took a deep breath. "I'm sorry about what happened in the bath. We do need to talk. I wasn't ready before, and I should have explained that better, but I am ready now, if you could indulge me." He held his hand out to her, his eyes dark and serious. "Will you take a walk with me?"  
  
Rose looked at the ground for a long moment, then glanced up at him, anger and hurt still very much evident in her red-rimmed eyes. She said nothing as she eased herself up off the sofa and started toward the door, ignoring his hand.    
  
His breath caught. He wasn't sure she had ever refused his hand before. He was surprised how much it stung, but there was no question he deserved it.  
  
He turned to Jack. "I'm taking her outside for a bit. There's nothing out there for you to do, by the way, and frankly it would help if you didn't leave the ship. She may want to go home quite as soon as we're done, and I don't want a delay if that's the case."     
  
"No problem." Jack brought his hand to the back of the Doctor's neck. "She's stronger than you think," he said seriously.  
  
The Doctor smiled as though he'd been reassured by what Jack had said, then turned to follow Rose out the door.  
  
*  *  *  *  *  *  *  
  
Rose paused in the console room, unsure whether the Doctor had meant a walk to some other room in the TARDIS or if they were actually going outside, until he moved politely by her and opened the front door. He held it for her, not looking at her, but silently waiting for her to go out.  
  
She moved down the gangplank and stepped outside. She was in no mood to be impressed, but it was quite a beautiful scene. They were in the middle of a vast beach. The night sky was filled with more stars than she had ever seen back on Earth, and the light from three gorgeous, giant full moons, hanging low on the horizon, reflected the deep indigo of the ocean's water. Small, frothy white waves crashed ashore in a soothing rhythm.   
  
She made her way over an outcropping of rocks, well-lit by moonlight, to the smooth, flat sands of the beach, and stood facing the water. Despite her tightly held indignation, she allowed her eyes to fall closed for a moment, absorbing her surroundings with her other senses, inhaling the distinctive scents, feeling the light breeze on her skin.  
  
"Where are we?" she asked, glancing back in the Doctor's direction, adopting a normal conversational tone for the moment.  
  
The Doctor followed her lead, his manner as lively as it usually was when he introducing her to a new place. "It's called Roha-mir-Anzila. We're not too far from Earth, actually. In the same galaxy and everything."  
  
Rose gestured toward the sky. "So that's the Milky Way up there, then?"  
  
"Yep. And if I can find..." His voice trailed off as he spun around a couple of times, his eyes darting intently overhead. "Yeah, there we go." Keeping his eyes upward, he moved toward Rose, reaching an arm out to turn her a bit, then pull her into his back. He crouched down over her shoulder to put his eyes at the same level as hers, so they were almost cheek to cheek. "See that cluster of five stars, arranged in almost a perfect pentagram?" He extended an arm right next to her head, trying to get her to look at the same spot he was focused on.  
  
"Yeah." Rose's arm came up as well, almost as a reflex, connecting with the star of stars.  
  
"Okay, now look straight down from the star on the lower left point. See the one star there, by itself? Now go to the next one down, slightly to the left. It's a little bit brighter than the one above. See that?"  
  
"Yeah, got it," Rose said, smiling in spite of herself.  
  
"That's your sun," the Doctor said, straightening up, his arms wrapping instinctively around her shoulders. He found himself inordinately proud that he had been able to make her smile, showing her such a familiar part of her life on Earth from this distant perspective. He looked down at her face and saw the wonder, but he could not keep the wolves in his mind at bay. He closed his eyes against them.  
  
Rose stood still, transfixed not by the small bright dot, but by the sudden change in the Doctor's body behind her. It was as though all his enthusiasm and energy of the previous moments had dropped to his feet and escaped, and the backdraft was palpable to her.  
  
The Doctor let go of her and stepped away, turning to face the ocean. "Rose, I'm not human," he said simply.  
  
"Yeah, Doctor, that much, I actually knew." Rose crossed her arms in front of her, perhaps against a chill, perhaps in defiance.  
  
"I wonder, sometimes, if you do know it."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"I mean that I walk like you, and I talk like you, and I look like you. Human, I mean. I look human." He turned to look at her now. "But I'm not."  
  
"Doctor, I know..." she started, impatient.  
  
"I'm not human, Rose, not on the inside, not by a long shot. And it's not just biology. I don't think like you, and I don't feel like you."  
  
Rose had to admit that she did, in fact, willfully ignore this part. She was constantly reminded of his physical differences; the cool skin next to hers, the double heartbeat she could hear and feel when she lay against his chest. But the fact that his _mind_ was different was harder to see, harder to feel, and harder for her to understand.  
  
The Doctor continued. "Humans are one of only a very few species I've ever come across who place a value on sex, or its alien-to-you equivalent, as something other than either procreation or recreation. You don't have to look off your own planet to find thousands of species who mate only when it is necessary to make more of themselves. And there are certainly plenty of species who view sex as a purely social interaction -- Jack's no doubt got a little black book full of their coordinates. To them, sex is as commonplace an activity as watching telly is to you lot. The overwhelming majority of advanced life forms attaches little to no emotional meaning to the act of physically interlocking a few body parts now and again."  
  
Rose cringed a bit at the clinical description. "So it means nothing at all, what we do?"  
  
"Rose," he said with a sigh, "please try to keep from jumping to the worst possible interpretation of everything I say. I'm trying to explain, I really am, as best I can. I promise."  
  
She glowered. "Fine."  
  
The Doctor took a deep breath. "I don't know how else to say this, but what we do together, you and me, and Jack, is, well... _alien_ to me. This body I have, it works very much like every other human male's. Certain stimuli cause certain reactions, but I experience them from a bit of a distance, a detachment. Which is not to say that what we do isn't pleasurable to me, that it doesn't feel good physically. But Rose, you must have noticed by now that I'm always much more interested in what's going on with you than I ever am in what's going on with me."  
  
Rose closed her eyes as the fuzzy, uncertain edges of scattered memories came into focus. She supposed she had known it all along, but hadn't wanted to acknowledge it.  
  
The Doctor continued. "It has absolutely nothing to do with you, or how much I want you. It's just different for me."  
  
Rose shook her head. "No, I know that. And I understand what you're saying, I do. That there are things I just can't do for you, because I'm human." She laughed ruefully. "It's like I'm not quite sonic enough, yeah?" She kept smiling but couldn't fight the tears that jumped to her eyes. She turned away from him, tried to hide them, because that part wasn't his fault, and she knew that, and she didn't want to punish him just when he was finally telling her the truth. After all, Mickey wasn't enough for her, and that wasn't _her_ fault, but she had never had the courage to say it out loud.  
  
The Doctor looked at her, almost inquisitively. "I don't know, Rose. Considering what happened last night, you just might be."  
  
Rose stopped breathing for a second. She was almost afraid to ask. "What _did_ happen last night?"  
  
The Doctor took a deep breath. "There isn't an easy answer to that. I'm sorry. It's why I'm telling you all of this, telling you about me, about my species. I'm trying to..." He exhaled, running a hand over his head. "There's more I need to explain first."  
  
"Okay," Rose said, shaking her head a bit. "I guess... I mean, I believe that you're trying."  
  
"See, there isn't a word in your language, in any Earth-based language, to properly explain how Time Lords connected on an emotional level. Merging, combining, commingling. Melding. They're all in the neighborhood, but none of them is entirely accurate."  
  
Rose looked at him, trying to put the pieces together. "You're always watching me. When we're in bed together, by ourselves or with Jack, it doesn't matter. You watch me."  
  
"Yes. I watch you, I watch your face, every time."  
  
"Is that part of it?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
He held her gaze for a long moment, then spoke again.  
  
"Have you ever sat with anyone and just looked into their eyes for five straight minutes? Not talking, not doing anything else, just staring directly into each other's eyes. For even one minute, sixty short seconds. Have you ever done that?"  
  
Rose thought about it, then wondered why the answer surprised her. "No, I really haven't."  
  
"Not even with me, not even when we're in bed, when I'm inside you, you still don't look me in the eye for more than a few seconds at a time, right?"  
  
She smiled, a bit sheepish. "No, I guess I don't. Is that weird?"  
  
"Not for you humans, it isn't. Have you ever thought about why you look away?"  
  
Rose shrugged. "Get self-conscious, I guess."  
  
The Doctor rolled his eyes. "See what I mean? You get self-conscious making eye contact with me for more than a few seconds, yet you have no shame letting me watch you when you're making all kinds of faces, all kinds of noises..."  
  
She could feel the color filling her cheeks. "Okay! I get it."  
  
"Oh, please. It's fantastic. My point is, something _happens_ when you look directly into someone else's eyes for an extended period of time. You can see things, learn things, _feel_ things you can't see or learn or feel any other way, not through language or physical contact or any other kind of expression. And what makes it scary for you humans is that _you_ have no control over what someone else sees in you. Eye contact makes extraordinarily complex connections between living creatures in ways that humans don't yet understand."  
  
"But you, your people, they do." She caught herself. "They did."  
  
He nodded seriously. "It's more than understanding, Rose. It's how we had our equivalent of sex. It's what made the meld possible."  
  
She looked at him now, almost curiously. "Last night... that's the last thing I remember. Your eyes."  
  
The Doctor was afraid to move, afraid to breathe. "Yes."  
  
"So you... you tried it..."  
  
"Yes."  
  
"With me."  
  
"Yes."  
  
"And it _worked_?"  
  
The Doctor almost, almost, could not bear to answer her. "Sort of. Rose, I didn't..."  
  
"Wait," she said sharply. "Just give me a minute."  
  
He dropped his head, staring at the ground, and stood there in silence, waiting for whatever she would unleash on him. He _wanted_ it.  
  
Instead, he heard her take one deep breath, then another, then start moving toward him. He knew she was standing in front of him, but did not look up, not until he felt her hand under his chin, raising his eyes to hers.  
  
She stared at him, stared directly into his eyes, for a long, long time.  
  
He didn't hide anything from her.


	10. Part Nine

Their surroundings, all of time and space, had disappeared. She didn't even know if she was breathing.  
  
At first, she could see nothing but piercing blue. But soon, it was like he was showing her things, almost one by one, and then there was everything, all of him, laid bare for her in his eyes. He let her take her time, and she took in as much as she could, lingering over some, glancing over others she thought might be too hard for him to know she had seen. But it was all there, for her, all of it.  
  
When she was finished, she closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and moved into him. She tucked her head under his chin, pressed her cheek to his chest, and slid her arms under his coat to lock around his waist.  
  
He pulled the coat around her shoulders as far as it would go, and held on. He moved her, turning back and forth, gently rocking, his head bent over hers. A strange sensation washed over her, and suddenly, she thought that maybe, just maybe, she understood.  
  
*  *  *  *  *  *  *  
  
She pulled back a bit and smoothed her hands over his jumper, staring at the middle of his chest, her eyebrows knit together.  
  
"What is it?" the Doctor asked quietly.  
  
"I wish..." She paused. "I don't know, but just then, I felt like I wanted to... climb inside you... be... absorbed, I guess..." She shook her head, frustrated at the words she knew weren't sufficient.  
  
"Something more than just interlocking?"  
  
"Right."  
  
"That's it," the Doctor said, his voice low. "That's what it was for us. Two spirits coming together, but spirit isn't physical, not in a way that would make any sense to you. Instead of bodies, it's a melding of minds, energies, essences, into a single entity where the original components become indistinguishable from one another. Like two glasses of water poured into a single container, where it becomes impossible to determine which molecule came from which glass. It's only temporary, of course, but it is that complete."  
  
Rose considered this, feeling both fearful and in awe of what he was describing. "And that happened last night?"  
  
"It started to. I didn't even know it could, although looking back, it does make sense, and it was stupid of me not to recognize the possibility. Really, really stupid."  
  
"Recognize what possibility?"  
  
"In general, humans don't have the ability to open their minds to the extent necessary to do what we did. There are walls, in a sense, mental safeguards, some you aren't even aware of. I've known monks who've practiced meditation for years and still aren't able to completely free themselves from these defense mechanisms."  
  
"Then how come I could do it, without even trying?"  
  
"It sounds a bit coarse, but it must have happened when you came. I don't know exactly what goes on inside a human's head at that precise moment, but I'm guessing that if there's ever a time where you lower your guard, or lose it entirely, that's it."  
  
She smiled at this. "I guess so. I know I can't get there unless I stop thinking about it, let my brain shut down. And it never happened _with_ anyone else... until you." She was suddenly quite shy, like talking to him about having an orgasm was somehow more embarrassing than him having watched her have a hundred of them. "But why last night? It's not like it was the first time... I mean, you've made that happen for me so many times before, and Jack had been around before too. What was different about last night?"  
  
The Doctor's face fell, like he'd been dreading this very question all night. He looked away, and she could almost see the shame clouding his entire being. His voice was low, so very quiet. "It's because I lost control. Rose, I'm so sorry. I... I pushed into you, into your head. What we did, the Time Lords... that's how it starts. I always, _always_ held back before, just to be safe, even though I never thought it could actually happen. But last night, watching you, seeing you, I couldn't stop myself. I gave in, and I pushed, and it worked. I invaded your mind and I scared you and I caused you pain and I _left_ you and I am so, so sorry. It was _absolutely_ unforgivable."  
  
He spit the last words out with such anger, such self-loathing, Rose flinched. He could not face her, could not look at her, could not let her see the tears that clouded his eyes, not after everything else.  
  
"Except, I forgive you." She said it simply, like it was the most obvious reaction in the world.  
  
"What?" His head snapped around, and he stared at her now, his wet eyes dark and suspicious.  
  
She shrugged slightly. "I forgive you. You explained what happened, and you apologized, and I forgive you."  
  
The Doctor continued to stare at her. "What is the matter with you? Are you really that simple?" His voice dripped with scorn and sarcasm as he came toward her. "Do you think you can just look up at me with with your wide, trusting eyes and say 'I forgive you' and it's no problem, that's the end of it?" His voice continued to rise, both in volume and intensity, and his eyes blazed as he grabbed her upper arms, shaking her in rhythm with his words. "I violated your _mind_ , Rose. I gave in to my own selfish need, my need to _possess_ you, to make you do something that would bring me pleasure, and I forced my way into your head. Doesn't that mean anything? Don't you _care_? Don't you have _any_ respect for your..."  
  
" _Shut up_." In one smooth, surprisingly forceful motion, Rose raised her fists up from the center of her body and flung them out, shoving the Doctor's grip from her arms. Her voice was low and calm, jarring after his rant, and he froze. "For once, just shut up, and _listen_. You don't get to be angry with me, not now. I'm the only one who gets to be angry and you know that full well. _Look at me_ ," she said suddenly when his eyes dropped from hers. He complied in an instant. "Yes, you entered my mind uninvited, but I'm not angry about that. Do you really think there's any part of me that you can't have? But I am angry that you didn't trust me enough to tell me about any of this before. And I am angry that you didn't trust me enough to ask for what you wanted, after you gave me so much of yourself, so freely." She stopped and took a breath. "But most of all, I'm angry at everyone and everything you've encountered in your nine hundred years that made you believe that you don't deserve me."  
  
He stared at her in stunned silence, and though his outward expression was still one of anger, there was a slow, certain shift in his eyes, and she knew she was right. He tried to back away from her but she moved forward, clutching the sleeves of his jacket.  
  
" _No_." Rose's voice was sharp enough to bring his eyes back up to hers in surprise. "You stay right there, and you listen to me." Her own eyes were full now, and her voice started to break, but she could not hold back anymore. "I'm nothing but a stupid ape, right? Rose Tyler, shopgirl, mucking about a council estate with her daft mother and idiot boyfriend. Just another silly human. There's nothing special about me, right? But you know what? I am still worthy of you."  
  
The Doctor's head fell forward, almost in supplication, and she slid her hands up to brace the back of his neck, running her thumbs along either side of his jaw. The wells in her eyes finally gave way, and her breath caught in her chest as she fought to get her words out. "And you? You are nothing but a stupid Time Lord, crossing centuries and galaxies to save world after world from disaster and destruction." Her trembling lips broke into a smile even as the tears rolled freely down her face. "There's nothing special about _you_ , Doctor, but _you are worthy of me_."  
  
The words hung in the air for a long moment, until his eyes fell closed. "Oh, Rose..."     
  
"Quiet," she interrupted, her voice barely above a whisper. "Just... be quiet." She pulled on his neck to bring his forehead down to hers. His hands came up, smoothing lightly over her hair before cradling the back of her head, mirroring her position. They stood like that for a long time, letting the sound of the waves calm their breathing into a steady, synchronized rhythm. Eventually, he turned her head and slowly, gently, pulled her mouth to his.  
  
Rose thought she may have felt something new in that kiss, like the last piece of the puzzle had finally fallen into place.  
  
*  *  *  *  *  *  *  
  
The Doctor pulled back and looked at her with some seriousness. "Rose, about Jack... I just don't think... I mean, I have no right to tell you what to do, but..."  
  
"It's okay," Rose answered, her arms locking around his waist as he once again wrapped his jacket around her back. She nestled against him, and sighed. "I'm not sure I could let him have you anymore either."  
  
" _Man!_ You work so hard to bring two people together, and they repay you by kicking you out of their bed?!"  
  
Rose and the Doctor snapped their heads up in unison to find Jack leaning in the doorway of the TARDIS, a half-empty bottle of champagne in one hand, his smile a mile wide.     
  
"How long were you standing there?" the Doctor demanded as Jack started toward them, stumbling over the rocks a bit more than he might otherwise have.  
  
"Well, when I opened the door... just checking to make sure she hadn't killed you, I swear... you were doing that very sweet forehead-leaning thing." Still smiling, Jack finally reached them, passing the bottle to the Doctor before putting a hand on each of their shoulders. "Then I heard the part about the very sweet monogamy thing, and decided congratulations were in order. And, of course, one last kiss, which, I think you'll agree, is the _least_ you can give me to show your gratitude." He leaned in to Rose first, giving her a swift but solid kiss on the mouth, then took her into his arms.  
  
"Love you," he whispered into her ear.  
  
"Love you, too," she laughed, her hand brushing his cheek as he pulled back to smile at her, before turning toward the Doctor.  
  
"And you, you big lug..." Jack kissed the Doctor just as solidly and pulled him into a bear hug. "You know, except for the somewhat tragic side effect of me being forced into trolling alien dance clubs for companionship, I couldn't be happier for you crazy kids." He grabbed the champagne bottle back and took a long drink, then spread his arms out wide. "And look, you'll always have the lovely coast of Mohair-del-Angela..."     
  
"Roha-mir-Anzila," the Doctor corrected, rolling his eyes.  
  
"..as your air-quote special place close-air-quote." Jack beamed at the two of them, then turned suddenly serious. "Oh, wait, did you two want to, like, christen this beach? Tell you what, I'll go back inside, finish your champagne, and see if I can charm the TARDIS into intercepting some staticky intergalactic porn channel. You guys take your time..."     
  
"I think we're fine," Rose laughed, turning Jack around and shoving playfully against his back, moving him back toward the TARDIS. She and the Doctor followed along behind him. "Never really understood the appeal, myself. It's hard enough getting sand out of your shoes, much less..."  
  
"Got it, thanks," the Doctor interrupted, smiling down at her.  
  
"Yeah?" she asked, reaching for his hand.  
  
"Yeah," he replied, threading his fingers with hers.  
  
"So sweet," Jack muttered ahead of them, taking another swig of champagne.


End file.
